Toby Lai

November  19th, 1971 June  1st, 2024
Toby Lai

All my life you have been faithful
All my life you have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
I will sing of the goodness of God

Goodness of God - Bethel Music


Toby Lai was born in 1971 in Hong Kong, and passed away peacefully on June 1, 2024, at the age of 52. He was a devoted husband, father, son, and friend, whose quiet presence and listening ear made an impact on those around him.

Toby was born to Che Ling and Suk Ying Lai and raised in Hong Kong with his older sister, Nikki. In 1985, at the age of 14, he immigrated to the United States with his family and settled down in New York City. He attended and graduated from the State University of New York at Buffalo, where he met the love of his life, Kan Chan. A few years later, in 1996, they got married and moved to New Jersey. 

Together, Toby and Kan shared an enduring partnership, and built a life full of joy, laughter, and love. Toby's legacy continues through his three beloved children, Lori, Emily, and Jeremy, who were the pride of his life. He cherished them deeply and worked tirelessly to provide them with priceless experiences and lifelong childhood memories. 

His practicality and his love for photography, sports, and music lives in his children today, inspiring and shaping each of them in unique ways. He enjoyed participating in fantasy leagues every season, and took home the winning trophy for fantasy football a couple years in a row. A loyal long time fan of the Mets and Giants, you could always catch him cheering on his favorite teams even when they were losing. 

Over the years, Toby was also an active member in his church community. He played guitar on the worship team and handled the technical tasks required for services to run every Sunday. With a huge passion for photography, he became the go-to photographer for church events and even weddings. He was always someone who could be counted on. 

Toby's steadfast faith in God made him a huge role model and touched the hearts of those around him. He was a godly father to his children and nurtured the growth of their faith over the years. His selflessness and dedication to his faith was a testament to God's glory and will continue to be remembered by those who knew him. Despite living a humble life, he was rich in love, joy, and perseverance.

Toby's passing leaves a void in the lives of those who knew him, but his memory will forever remain a source of inspiration and comfort. His spirit will continue to live on through his family, friends and all who were fortunate enough to know him. May he rest in peace, knowing he was deeply loved and admired.


Came to the U.S.
Graduated College
Married Kan Chan
Birth of Lori Lai
Birth of Emily Lai
Birth of Jeremy Lai
June 1st
With the Lord


Memory wall

Post your condolences or share your Memories.

July 2, 2024
We're so sorry for your loss, Kan Sin San, Lori, Emily, Jeremy and family. We've been thinking of and praying for you all. <3 Love, Evangeline, Kirklin & Jayden Lee
Evangeline Lee
June 29, 2024
Our best reigning Fantasy football champion, a God fearing man and a stand up brother in general. Rest in peace, Viper.
Amanda Oey
Amanda Oey
June 29, 2024
Thank you for your service at Grace church and to UPS.
Stephen Chien
June 29, 2024
Milly Fong
June 28, 2024
There is something in your smile that is so genuine! A feeling of warmth so real that it lightens the heart.
Toby, you will be missed!
Kevin & Gardi Mak
June 28, 2024
I remember the days when we used to play basketball together. Even though the opportunities were few, they were always memorable since you were a parent that I deeply respected. I remember the moments we would chat and play with Jeremy when he was still a baby and how you are always smiling and encouraging!

May God’s love and grace continue to be with your family until the day we can all meet again.
June 28, 2024
Toby, I still remember the time when we were attending the Song of Songs fellowship at NYCAC. The meeting sometimes end late and you were always very caring to drive Florence and me home. Thanks for all the good times in church and on the soccer field. You have always been a faithful brother in Christ, a great teammate and a good friend. May God continue to bless and comfort Kan and family.
Raymomd Tsang
June 27, 2024
Toby is a quiet and reserved person. But underneath it all, we find much talent and great ability. He loved his family, his wife, and his Creator. His presence in church is treasured by all and his serving deeply appreciated. He fought the good fight till the very end. There is no doubt he will be greeted by the Lord God as "the good and faithful servant". Toby, we love you and your family dearly. Your smiling face will be missed and your kindness remembered forever. Even though you are with our Heavenly Father, our memories of you will never fade. As we continue our earth journey, your words and deeds will still be part of our life. Goodbye for now but we shall meet again.
Willie Mark
June 21, 2024
Toby and I were friends because of photography. This picture is one of his last works. With the help of Google search, I wrote this poem. Hope you like it.


Google Search References
Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss. But every once in a while you find someone who's iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare.

Larry Lee
June 14, 2024
Maggie Lau
June 9, 2024
Julissa Pak
June 7, 2024
My interactions with Toby happened the most in Fantasy Football. He was the man(the team) to beat. There, I got to see his passion and meticulousness. On the other hand, I had the chance to walk with Lori, Emily, and Jeremy for a season and see how they grew and have grown since. There is no doubt that Toby's presence and influence have shaped them to become amazing men and women.

I am praying for you all, Kan, Lori, Emily, and Jeremy. May the Lord's peace with you in this season.
Cristobal Tong
June 6, 2024
Toby, 最後一次見你是在3/29,Good Friday 的網上聚會,知道你當時的病情並不樂觀,心實在很難受。 但看見你的平靜坦然,從容面對危急的病況,很感動。你讓我看見什麼是「只是凡事放膽, 無論是生是死,總叫基督在我身上照常顯大」腓立比書1:20
在此很想替孩子們謝謝你!你在數年前為她們的recital capture 了很多美好的回憶,謝謝Uncle Toby!
June 6, 2024
I remember Toby sook sook always being kind and inquisitive toward me. I appreciated his questions and generosity. His passing is such a loss and Im so sorry for you all, Lai family. Ive been praying for him these past few months and will pray for you all too.
Stephan teng
June 6, 2024
We had many battles in fantasy football over the years and he (almost) always came out on top. I won’t miss those weekly defeats, but he will be missed in our football league, and most importantly, in our lives as he was always quick to smile and laugh through anything that came his way. We rejoice knowing that he goes ahead of us and we’ll be seeing him again. God is good.
June 6, 2024
May the Lord comfort the Lai family and their loved ones in their grief. Surround them with unwavering peace and strength. May we all find solace in the hope of the resurrection and the promise of eternal life.
June 6, 2024
I have only met Toby once, through the Jesus Loves New Jersey ministry back in September of 2023. I had the valuable opportunity to work with him for taking pictures of the events. He struck me by his genuine sincerity in helping and doing the things that I requested him to do, and without any hesitations, he accepted and was showing his bright smiley face in doing so. God has picked the best people to do His work. Toby was definitely one of them! His work is wonderful, even when he was carrying his illness, which I didn't know about until after... It was the Holy Spirit's motive in me that guided me to use his photos for the Jesus Loves New Jersey's website. The photos on the homepage along the top banner area, are all his work! I wish to have more opportunities to work with Toby, but can now only do so when we meet again in Heaven. Here is to imagine him looking at us with his bright smiley face from his Heavenly home!
Kent Shum
June 5, 2024
My deep condolences to the family. Toby and Kan's deep love for God and devotion in their local church, especially in the children ministry, have left a mark of witness in my memory of them.
Anny Tsang
June 5, 2024
We are so sorry to hear about Toby’s passing. He will be greatly missed. Sending lots of love, support and prayers for your family during this time.
The Nolasco Family
June 5, 2024
I’m sorry for your lost my dear cousin. Even though I didn’t get to know Toby well, I could see what a wonderful couple you guys were. I could see the joy and togetherness your family has been over the years. I’m so sad for your and your children’s great loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Catherine Lee
June 5, 2024
美好的仗Toby弟兄已經打完了,他2023年9月份連續三個星期六帶病參加第一屈「耶穌愛新澤西」 傳福音活動。温馨的笑容,永遠被懐念。現在Toby 弟兄安息主懷🙏🙏🙏願神繼續祝福Kan和 Toby 家人,作主基督精兵,廣傳福音,直到將來在天家一起見Toby 和主的面🙏🙏🙏
Kam Kuen Yuen
June 5, 2024
Dear Lai Family, I was saddened to hear the news about Toby! Even though it has been years since we saw each other, I remember him with great fondness. Those early years of fantasy football where he and Ivan joined the league were amazing. May your memories of him bring you comfort. As Christians I take comfort in the reality that death is not goodbye but only a see ya later!
Aaron Chan
June 5, 2024
I only met Toby a few times, but he left me with the impression that he was kind, quiet, reserved, and very shrewd. We miss him!
Pang Wang
June 5, 2024
My deepest condolences and prayers for the Lai family. I worked with Toby for years at Credit Agricole. I will always remember his kind nature and friendly smile. He will be missed.
Joe Macaluso
June 5, 2024
Mostly reserved, but always warm and kind. Thank you for your servant heart and be a light in this world! Our deepest prayers and condolences to the Lai Family. May you rest in the Lord..
Eric Chau
June 5, 2024


Gustav Hung
June 5, 2024
You will be missed so much and yet we are so happy you are with our Savior. You were so courageous in your fight to live. You inspired us all. We we see you again dear brother!
Marissa Ekback
June 5, 2024
You are a quiet and peaceful spirit and while I didn't know you well I was always glad to see you at church. Your faith and strength has been an inspiration to me. You will be missed so much but it brings me joy to think of you healed, fulfilled and loved in the arms of your Savior. I'm sure you have already heard from the One you love so much, well done good and faithful servant.
Candi Sorondo
June 4, 2024
Yee Ha Noel Ng
June 4, 2024
I’m glad that I had an opportunity to speak with you in person recently. Toby, you will be missed and we will see you in heaven.
June 4, 2024
Rest in peace - you will be missed!
June 4, 2024
My hugest condolences to the Lai family


What was Toby's favorite Movie?
Mission Impossible
What was Toby's favorite Sports Team?
Giants / Mets
What was Toby's favorite Food or Dish?
What was Toby's favorite Restaurant?
Penang in East Hanover, NJ
What was Toby's favorite hobby? 
Playing video games (Madden, Mario Kart, Mario Baseball, etc.) 
Fun fact about Toby:
He did not bring enough money to his first date with Kan Chan and got lost on the way there [insert clown emoji]
What was Toby's favorite Color?


Please join us for a celebration of Toby's life and his walk with God. 

We will come together to commemorate and honor Toby's life as a beloved son, husband, and father. Although we will miss his presence on earth, we are overjoyed to know that he is now at peace with the Lord. 

Your presence would mean a great deal to all of us during this time of remembrance.

(Note: please refrain from bringing/sending flowers)
Church of Living Grace of New Jersey
800 Jefferson Rd
Parsippany-Troy Hills, NJ 07054
June 29, 2024 @ 2:30pm
Virtual event

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