To Live in the Hearts of Family and Friends in Not to Die
Obituary
How do we express in adequate words the role that Mom played in our lives for so long. Someone who never wanted anything but the very best for her Husband and Sons. A life centered on her family, first and foremost. For us, it was a life that we saw up close. Her influence, as a subtle but strong force, continually helped forge the future of our family. So many examples we take forward with us of life lessons. We hope that our lives, and our children’s lives, stand as testament to her legacy. Mom lived a full and happy life. A life filled with the love and companionship of her husband, her sons and their families, her extended family, and an army of friends.
With a history of moving while Dad was ascending the corporate ladder, we lived in no less than eight different states. No matter where we lived, or how long we were there, Mom drew people to her. Successful in her roles as dutiful corporate wife and resourceful mother, she also tackled small business ownership in Atlanta. No telling how many visitors to Georgia she took to the Cyclorama or The Varsity! Tour guide was just another role.
In so many ways Mom was an interesting person. When she married Dad she was determined to be a good wife and mother. It’s a role she filled with enthusiasm and dedication. Determined to make a happy home, she was a fanatical housekeeper and cook. We always get a laugh when we talk about the days that she would wax the garage floor. As young boys, we would make “snow angels” in her freshly vacuumed and manicured living room carpet. Being a mother of two boys, there were years when Mom said “we started her gray hair”, and that was largely the 70’s in Des Moines. We deny the majority of responsibility, but not the validity of the underlying evidence. Undaunted, she took most of it in stride.
Georgia brought much change for Mom and Dad. They took to the big city very well, but ultimately ended up living the lake life, and it was a wonderful experience for them. Sunset boat cruises, fishing, hosting weekend parties, the activity was endless. Great friends, and so many great memories there. But maybe the happiest and most contented time that Mom and Dad knew together was their years of retirement in Florida. A wonderful home on the golf course, legions of friends, golf, swimming, bike riding and legendary dinner parties. Mom was always in her element when entertaining. “The Hostess with the mostest”!
During the Florida years, there came a time when Mom became very ill and required major surgery. Afterwards she was facing a long convalescence. Dad was determined to step up and care for her, but it was a huge undertaking. Her good friend Barb Bloedel stepped in and spent countless hours helping with her care, a true blessing and major influence in her successful recovery. So many people provided support, it took a village and we were so happy they had one!
After Dad passed, she made a different life for herself. She became known as the “Den Mother of Cross Creek” in Fort Myers. All of the widows in the neighborhood were required to check in with her every morning. Whether a call or a visit, attendance was taken. At Mom’s 80th birthday party we were regaled with stories of how grateful other families and friends were that Mom was looking out for their loved one. In many ways it was these years when her talent for fashion and decorating shined through. The fashion show at her 80th birthday party remains a classic example of her friend base and their amazing support. It is not an exaggeration to say she had a following.
Next came many happy years in Lexington. Also home to her long-time friend Phyllis Ison, they continued the good times and adventures together and remained the dearest of friends. Participating in the church choir and all the activities surrounding her church became the centerpiece of her life in Lexington. Having Phyllis and her family in Lexington made the relocation very easy for Mom, another of life’s blessings.
Mom’s move to Colorado became that last chapter that enabled us to provide her with the best possible care. She said she was up for another adventure, and again her attitude and personality propelled her forward. All the caregivers simply loved her, and felt very confident in her care. However, she steadily became quite frail and the progressing dementia was just too much. In the end, she didn’t have the physical strength to fight through it. We kept faithful watch over her as the time came.
Her role in our lives is truly hard to measure. We always knew that we were loved and that we mattered. Her pride in the lives we made, the partners we married, and the grandchildren she adored was complete.
While sorrow is always present when a parent leaves, we are really left with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. If love alone could sustain life, Mom would have lived forever, from an abundance of giving and receiving. ‘Bless your Heart’, we can hear her saying it now.
With our love Mom, Thank you.
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