Sockalingam s/o Subramaniam

Hey Laura,
Your dad was a proper legend. I’m so glad we got a couple chances to catch up for me to thank him. Gratitude makes people better individuals, and I am certain you have been sent (in great volume) gratitude to have had your dad in people’s lives.

I count myself amongst a large cohort that would not be where we are without your dad setting us straight on so many different levels. He ironed out my mental discipline in a way that gave me the rigor of thought needed to achieve a certain number of personal dreams, so far. He managed to walk the line between mentor and friend. He was simultaneously amazing and criminal in his rendition of My Way. Having shaken his hand feels like having shaken Sinatra’s.

He made the mistake of giving me this wonderful Cross pen that extended and folded into a very compact size with a truly satisfying *clunk*, and I loved that pen – maybe a little too much. I’m glad he’s not going to find out how quickly his fully-adult student destroyed that beautiful expensive pen. Every interaction I had with your dad involved him bringing out the best in others and myself, as well as his deservedly smug swagger, classiness, and delayed-onset mirth.

I truly hope this all makes sense to you. That was my experience with him. From choking on quick-fire times table questions, to turning up long after my O levels for help with mechanical engineering assignments - where I arrive with a question, he gets me to a full understanding and answer in 15 minutes, and then we drink a bottle of double black over 4 hours, after which I have no memory of how I got home, but I know I know a bunch of new tamil phrases.

I can tell you losing a parent is something that will typically take longer than you assume you’ll need to process. When my mum died, I thought I processed things fast enough, but I think it was two years before I stopped having these moments where I realize I’m the same age she was at a certain milestone in my own life, and it completely reframes some aspect of my world. Look forward to it. Some people, whether you want them to or not, will continue to shape your world long after they’re gone.

Sending you and mum all my love, and some from my wife, and a bunch from the pets. Please let me know when you’re in London next and I’ll cook.

💚
D

Dear Mr Socka,

When mom first enrolled me in your tuition class, the fifteen-year-old me was honestly intimidated by your fierce demeanour.

But it did not take long for me to realise how warm and caring you were.

As a tutor, your teaching was simple, sharp, and incredibly effective. You had a remarkable ability to take an entire, muddled lesson from school and make it clear in under ten minutes!

Thank you for transforming my Amath and Emath grades Sir. The impact of that has stayed with me all these years and continues to shape my professional life.

I will always cherish the memories we had.

Dearest Appan Uncle thank you so much for everything. I will never never never give up no matter what happens! We love you so much Appan uncle!

Dearest Appan Uncle,
Thank you very much for being there for me. Your quiet presence and encouragement made a difference to my life. I will miss you. Will never forget your wise words. Never,never, never give up! Love you, Appan Uncle!

Dearest Uncle Socka,

Thank you for all the fond memories growing up in Singapore when we used to come over with our entire family and sitting in your favourite corner in the house.

Thank you to You, Aunty and Laura for opening your home to me when I came back to Singapore for national service to stay as long as I needed and treating me like a son.

We all love you and will miss you for what you brought to our lives, rest well Uncle.

Dearest Sir,

We will always fondly remember our tuition days that were filled with laughter and so much fun. This was more than 20 years ago but you made such a lasting impact on all of us during those formative years.

Thank you for always believing in us, helping us realise our potential and being a lifelong mentor. You have always been non judgemental and a guiding beacon in our lives. Your teaching philosophy is something that we will always cherish forever.

You have set the benchmark for being a wonderful human being so high, Sir! We will always hold you dearly in our hearts and memories. 💖

With much love,
Deva, Sadesh & the two Gayathri(s)
(The 1997 batch)

Dear Laura,

As I am overseas at present, I regret that I will be unable to be there in person tomorrow to bid a final farewell to your beloved father on his last journey.
I recall with admiration his passion for work. In his professional life, he carried out his duties with dedication and took immense pride in the quality of his work. I vividly recall a conversation in which he spoke with great enthusiasm about his efforts to enhance the Kallang River at Ang Mo Kio under the ABC (Active, Beautiful, Clean Waters) Programme. So passionate was he about his work that he warmly invited me to visit the site, even though I had already retired from service. When I did visit, he personally took me around, explaining the work with great pride and joy.
I have very fond recollections of his many noble qualities as well. He was a deeply committed and enthusiastic blood donor.

The last time I spoke with him was in November 2025, when he suggested that we meet for lunch sometime. Sadly, that opportunity will now remain unfulfilled.

May God bless you and your family—especially your dear mother—with the strength and courage to endure this difficult time. And may He grant your father eternal rest and peace.

To my dear godpa,

I will always love and miss you. You were the most loving man a godchild could ever ask for, always there for me, always encouraging me, and always proud of everything I was doing. You cared for me and believed in me even when I struggled to believe in myself.

I’ll carry your words and your love with me in everything I do. Even though you’re not physically here anymore, you’ll always be a part of me🥰

From tutor to treasured mentor and friend — thank you, Uncle Socka, for your guidance, kindness, and generosity, and for standing with me when I married Scott 27 years ago.

You and Aunty were the first to hear when Scott and I got engaged. 💍

You were always so genuinely happy for us when we had our children, and the time you spent with them meant more than words can express. Scott always smiles at the memory of your “shaky hands” when pouring a proper glass of scotch — not from unsteadiness, but from your enthusiasm to be just a little more generous with the pour!

Your profound influence in shaping the person I am today will stay with me always. You will be remembered with love and heartfelt gratitude.

Miss you greatly. Until we meet again. xoxoxo ❤️

Socka always made us feel welcome and loved. He had such a warm presence about him and a truly wonderful smile that always put me at ease. I remember his hospitality and genuine love for the children when we visited in 2013. He will be missed ! May he rest in eternal peace.

It was totally a shock to hear of Appan's , as he was known to us - my husband, my late mother and I.
Though we did not have much or regular interaction, his presence was always felt. He was hardly ever without a smile and his laughter was hearty, loud and infectious.
I still recall how his eyes would crinkle when he smiled.
There must have been family moments when we met and spoke - he would always come up and greet us.
I recall, now that we saw him once along Bras Basah Road and he walked up to Kumar and me and shared some words. I don't recall what we spoke about but that he was, as usual, warm and happy to see us. That is how we remember Appan - warm, friendly and happy to see friends.

We can only imagine the pain of his immediate family and of his siblings, of not having him physically present.
May they find strength and comfort that he was always happy and, know that he is present in the breeze that blows gently, in the stars that twinkle each night and in the laughter that they hear.

Going to Uncle Socka’s was an institution, a rite of passage if you will.

He was scary and funny at the same time. If you made a careless mistake, he would draw a huge X across the page, sign his name, and add, “Keep this paper, in 20 years time you can sell it for a million dollars.” I would feel a laugh bubbling up, but try my best to keep a straight face because he was being serious, with a slight crinkle in his eyes.

Beneath that tough exterior was someone who cared about his students. He had a way of constantly reminding us of our potential, always making us believe we were capable of more. That belief stayed with us long after we left his class, at least for me it did.

A great teacher does more than teach, they leave behind an indelible mark of wisdom that stays with you for a lifetime, and that was exactly who Uncle Socka was.

My heart sank when I found out that the great man had fallen. But he should know he was loved and respected by hundreds of straggly teenagers, some of whom now have their own straggly teenagers, who will, and can never, forget him.

Rest in peace, dear Uncle Socka.

Dear Uncle,
Thank you for always opening up your home to us, thank you for always remembering us like we are one of yours. Thank you for the fond memories of our fun exchanges, of the staycation @ Sentosa we crashed, and the last lunch we had together. Thank you for raising a remarkable daughter in Laura. Rest assured, she is one of us now like how you treat us like we were one of yours. May you rest in eternal peace. Till we meet again!

Such sad news. I last saw Uncle Socka in Singapore a year ago. He made such an effort to ensure he saw myself, Sangeeta, Rio and Zac. I have many happy memories of wonderful times at Uncle's home where he was an amazing host. He also visited London and I remember his time at mum and dad's home. Always smiling, always so generous. Uncle will be missed. My thoughts are with all his loving family. Our loss is Heaven's gain.

RIP.

We remember Socka as a man of wit, kindness, and a laughter that brightened every room. He had a special way of making people smile and feel at ease, a gift we will always cherish.

He loved life in his own beautiful way — especially when it came to karaoke. His favourite, “My Way”, was more than just a song; it was how he lived — with heart, joy, and authenticity.

He will be deeply missed, but fondly remembered in every smile, every laugh, and every song.

May he rest in eternal peace.

Uncle Socka was always fun to be with and there was plenty of conversation to be had. I will remember all the good times, and he was always a warm and down to earth person who was very loving towards children. Take care Uncle and may you find eternal rest. Will miss you.

Uncle was such a warm and generous man. Always eloquent, I remember him having a kind smile for everyone and time for all Laura's friends, no matter the hour. He welcomed us into his home without hesitation and never assumed anything about anyone. His openness and kindness left a lasting impression on me. I remember nights being able to sit and talk to you when my anxiety got too much and you always made a great conversation partner. You will be so dearly missed.

Strong, steady, and full of heart that’s how I’ll always remember you, Uncle. Rest peacefully, you’ll be deeply missed. Cheers 🍻

Love you Appan Uncle. I will miss you and forever carry you with me