Patricia ‘Pat’ Lou Graves Graupner

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.

Obituary

Our cherished mother, wife, grandma, aunt, and friend, Patricia ‘Pat’ Graupner, passed away on December 26, 2025, in Madison, Wisconsin. We will always remember her quick wit, wry sense of humor, quiet laugh, and fierce determination. Her ready zingers, knowledge of correct grammar and word usage, ability to detect parking lot design flaws, and enthusiastic support for the Packers and Brewers will be greatly missed by those who loved and knew her well.

Pat was born on February 12, 1941, to Kenneth and Bernice ‘Bunny’ Graves in Ladysmith, Wisconsin. Soon after, the family relocated to Spencer, where Pat spent most of her first 55 years, growing up with her five siblings. She attended Spencer Public Schools and graduated in 1959. In high school, she was a cheerleader, participated in Glee Club, Band, and Drama, and served as editor of the school yearbook. After high school, she went to Stevens Point College.

Pat married Robert Stephens in 1960, and they had five children together. After their divorce, Pat and the children moved from Madison to Spencer, where she raised the children as a single parent for the next 30 years.

In 1969, Pat started working for the School District of Spencer as a teacher’s aide and rose to Director of Business Services before retiring. While this was her job, it was not her passion. Her passion was her family.

Pat was a vibrant part of Christ the King Catholic Church, where she led the choir and adored singing duets with her sister, Sue. Pat served as a trustee on the board of the Village of Spencer for a term. She also played a key role in planning the Lucille Tack Center for the Arts.

Pat was a true adventurer, fearless and always up for fun. She showed her children how to build the most amazing snow forts, belt out “Oklahoma” with all their heart, polka with wild abandon, and splash around in lakes and rivers without a care. She also loved baking the most delicious treats and, sometimes, enjoying buttery popcorn for dinner. Even though she didn’t have much experience, she taught five young children to tent-camp, filling the small family car to the brim with children, sleeping bags, and supplies.

In August 1996, Pat married Kenneth Graupner and moved to Beaver Dam, where she helped Ken raise his two children, whom she adored as her own. They lived in Beaver Dam until they moved to Oakwood Prairie Village retirement community in Madison in July 2024.

Over the past 30 years, Pat faced several serious health challenges, but this time was also filled with wonderful family get-togethers and amazing adventures with her husband, Ken, both in the US and Europe. Pat loved going to music concerts and the theatre, reading, baking treats, and playing the piano. She truly cherished spending time with her family and friends.

Pat was always there to support all her children and their interests. She chaperoned school band trips, sewed uniforms for the junior high cheerleaders and the high school swing choir, as well as prom and Christmas dresses for her girls, provided piano accompaniment for solo competitions, cheered for them during sporting events, and applauded their music and theater performances. When the children started their own lives, Pat was the glue that held them together, ensuring everyone knew the latest. When her eldest son, John, was stationed overseas, she sent Packer game tapes and newspaper clippings of the Spencer Rockets’ sports teams.

Pat was preceded in death by her parents, Kenneth and Bernice, and her siblings, Spencer, Frederick, Janet, Suzanne, and Michael. She is survived and deeply loved by her husband of 29 years, Ken, and her children, John (Shawn Marie), Deanna (Paul), Toni (Richard), William, Stacey (Tim), Anna (Ruben), and Christopher (Laura), along with twelve grandchildren and seven great-grandchildren.

A memorial service will be held at the Oakwood Prairie Ridge Chapel in Madison at 11 am on January 24, 2026. A separate graveside memorial will be held at 1:30 pm on June 27th at the West Spencer Cemetery followed by a gathering at the Lucille Tack Center for Arts.  All friends and family are welcome.  

For those who would like, in lieu of flowers, the family would welcome donations to the Friends of the Carbone Cancer Center and National Alliance for Mental Illness - Wisconsin Chapter. 

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