Patricia Helen Buckstrup

The artist Patricia Buckstrup, our amazing Mom, died in comfort on 02/15/25 at Hudson Valley Hospice House. Stories and photos follow. -Michelle and Kevin

Snapshots from Pat's Life Story

Patricia Helen Weston was born in Seattle in 1944 to Helen and Al Weston. She was the third child of five: Gladys, Marge, Mom, Albert (Albie), and Mark. Family trips to Lake Washington were the highlight of Pat's childhood and sparked her lifelong love of being near and in the water. She also loved when her father Al played the piano for the family. Pat graduated from Seattle's Franklin High School in 1962.

Pat met her future husband, Ken Buckstrup, in Washington DC when she was living on Capitol Hill with other women who were working for Congress. (Pat worked for Senator Henry "Scoop" Jackson, a progressive, longtime Democrat for the State of Washington.) Ken had come back from the Peace Corps to train new volunteers. Pat and Ken married and had intended to be world-travelers and internationalists before having children, but Michelle and Kevin came along in quick, unplanned succession, so the parents adjusted their life plan! The family lived first in Alexandria, Virginia, then moved to Falls Church, Virginia where they lived in a cozy 1946 brick house on the corner. Pat made fast friends with the family next door, especially Lois Becker and her son, Kevin. Kevin Becker babysat Michelle and Kevin, looked out for them, was a supportive friend to Pat, and made everyone laugh. 

Pat set about making the Buckstrup home the neighborhood hub for kids. Ping-pong table in the basement, board games, food always out for the taking. She worked part-time to be there when Kevin and Michelle came home from school. She took them to Lee Graham swimming pool most summer days and bobbed around in the pool with them. “I wanted to have fun with you kids,” she'd say. That said, to get some desperately needed time for herself, Pat took art classes at NOVA Community College. This helped sustain her amid the chaos of raising two small children and kindled her passion for creating art and for art appreciation.     

Pat worked for many years as a graphic designer, first doing cut-and-paste work on a drafting table. When her family got an early-model PC, she delved into it, learning word processing and computer-aided graphic design.  When Michelle and Kevin were about six and four years old, Pat and Ken sought a religious home and found the Unitarian Universalist Church of Arlington, VA -- a large UU congregation. It was a good fit for the family. For anyone unfamiliar, Unitarian Universalism is rooted in the Judeo-Christian religious tradition and places covenants--core values about the way we treat each other and our larger human family--over rigid belief systems. Pat thrived in the UU community. 

Pat and Ken divorced in 1993. Pat started attending weekly Parents without Partners dances and had fun dancing and flirting. She met her boyfriend there-Bill Hutchins, who had grown up in Poughkeepsie. They had three years together before, sadly, Bill died. To her credit, Pat always faced life's losses head-on with help from therapists and friends; this was her secret to regaining her zest for life after periods of grief.    

Pat lived for about ten years in Colonial Beach, Virginia, where the Potomac River is ~2 miles wide. She bought a sweet if a bit dilapidated cottage from her friend Nancy, a few blocks from the water. She began a long-term relationship with a kind man named Dick, who lived in Washington DC, so she would stay with him when she drove up to Northern Virginia to work. She loved her dual-locale life: being in familiar DC with her boyfriend, but also having abundant alone time in Colonial Beach, where she painted, joined the local art league, gardened, and spent as much time by the Potomac as she could. 

A series of painful personal and financial life events pushed Pat forward. She decided to move to the Hudson Valley to be closer to Michelle and Kevin and their spouses--but it was not easy leaving Virginia after 44 years and starting over. As soon as she arrived in the Hudson Valley, Pat got involved with the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Poughkeepsie (UUFP), where she was warmly welcomed. She had a blast exploring the Hudson Valley, finding endless creative inspiration there. 

In 2013 Pat got to the top of the waiting list for a subsidized apartment at Saint Anna in Poughkeepsie. She lucked out with a wonderfully sunny, quiet, second-floor apartment, kind and caring neighbors, and plenty of nearby nature in a park-like setting. It was also just a few blocks from the UUFP, so she could walk when she could no longer drive. Over time, Pat's living room became her art studio. One of her favorite shows to watch with Michelle was Portrait Artist of the Year and Landscape Artist of the Year, after which she’d inevitably say, “This has given me so many new ideas of things I want to try.”

Pat gained tremendous inspiration from her membership with the Artists’ Collective of Hyde Park, where she got to socialize with artists and show her work year-round in ever-changing exhibits. Her weekly memoirs group was also huge for support-a place to process her many life experiences through free writing and reading aloud to one another. Thank you so much Lyn (RIP), Anne, Fran, Nancy, Paul, and others. (continued)

More about Mom, from Michelle

My mother survived her fair share of crises and losses, as all who live a long time are bound to. Despite these, her baseline was joy and a sense of wonder about life--and seeking connection. My mother loved my brother Kevin and I, Kevin’s wife Erica, and my husband Dale. She loved playing Scrabble with Dale (she often said, “I feel so safe and comfortable with him.”) She loved spending time (and traveling to Italy!) with her beloved brother Al and sister-in-law Claudia. She also loved: soaking up the sun. The Hudson River. Vanilla ice cream and dark chocolate. Gordon Lightfoot and classical music. Going to phenomenal free concerts at Vassar. Moving slow. Painting at Quiet Cove Park on the Hudson. The journals and memoirs of May Sarton. Sitting and dreaming. Staying up late and sleeping late. Her dear friends Tom and Barry, and Laura B. Going to art museums, making art, progressing as an artist. Practicing chair yoga. Babies! Jimmy Kimmel. Her Netflix and YouTube accounts. The book The Art Spirit by Robert Henri. Virtual fireplaces. Her exceptionally kind doctors.

Mom loved her UU, Artists’ Collective of Hyde Park, and Memoirs communities dearly. She also relished seeing pictures of, and hearing stories about, her step-grandkids Dalia and Shane and their spouses, and her step-great-grandkids Hudson, Hunter, Henry, and Evelyn. She (and we!) had some great times at holiday meals hosted by my dynamo of a sister-in-law Marcia and her gracious daughter Lisa. Mom stayed close with her sister Marge's kids Lori and her wife Roz and Terry and his wife Jan, and she enjoyed hearing the news from the rest of the extended PNW family.  
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It’s dusk on a summer night in the 1970s. “Michelle and Kevin, it’s time to come in!” My mother is calling from the front porch of our family’s small corner house in Falls Church. My brother and I have spent the day free-ranging the neighborhood on our bikes, playing touch football and wiffleball in the church yard across the street, roller-skating, and shooting hoops at the basketball court up the hill. Now it’s dark and my brother and I hear a more urgent, “MICHELLE AND KEVIN, IT’S TIME TO COME IN!!” Ok. We reluctantly wave goodbye to our friends for now. But we’re not sad, because home is safe and loving; it’s where our mother is. 💗

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