A Tribute To My Father
My dearest father, Norm Hirsch, passed away peacefully on November 19th, 2025. For those who knew him know how deep our connection was and how he was a very good person. For those who didn’t, he basically raised me by himself, and I’m not the only one who knows that he was a great father.
From an early age I remember my dad stressing the importance of having an open mind, and that speaks to how he raised me. He never pushed a way of thinking or belief system on me. Rather, he wanted me to have many different experiences with cultures, religions, and ways of living in order to open my mind and let me find my own path.
Similar to open-mindedness, my dad was very non-judgemental. He always believed that every single person, no matter what, should be treated equally and deserved the same rights. No matter the circumstances or what a person had done, he inherently focused on the positive qualities of people, and treated them with the grace and respect that those qualities represented, not the negative aspects.
Professionally, my dad always wanted to help people. His first wish was to be a doctor. Eventually he became a financial advisor and was extremely dedicated to only serving his clients with their best interests, and improved their lives both financially and personally. He was also philanthropic with both his money and with his time. He donated to charities such as Doctors Without Borders, and when he could maintain his income without working 40 hours a week, he wanted to use his extra time to help at-risk children. This led him to become a Big Brother for a boy with a very serious disease and a family in need of help for years, and later trained to become a CASA (court-appointed special advocate) for children who have experienced abuse or neglect in Boulder County. He also helped people around him at the drop of a hat. On top of what I already knew, in the last year of his life and thereafter I’ve been told stories from his clients, friends, and even strangers about how he went out of his way to help them without hesitation.
Pops was very intelligent. He went to Stanford and shortly after graduating backpacked through Europe, India and Nepal, thereby receiving academic education and worldly education. He then met his spiritual teacher, Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, and was an extremely dedicated student of his for many years, as well as earning the rank of one of the 3 White Knights, which to be brief, meant he was one of Trungpa’s personal bodyguards.
He was also a voracious reader, continuing his own education as well as enjoying great novels. He was always teaching me things, no matter the topic, and helped me with schoolwork from grade 3 through two college degrees without having to do any research, preparation, or reminders beforehand; from calculus in highschool to very dense cultural theory in college.
I know my dad was a great father, and I believe that he was a great human being as well. I will always have a hole in my heart without him, but thanks to him I have tools, opportunities, and desire to always try to be a better person.
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He opened up his home to Xander’s friends when we were youngsters and always treated us with respect and kindness while giving us a safe place to be creative and free. He was one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, calculating and meticulous but without being condescending. If you treated him with kindness and respect, that’s exactly what you got in return. As a young man finding my way in the world, he was an excellent example of what i could aspire to be personally and professionally.
I’ll miss our talks, and his kind and carful honesty.
In high school, Xander was one of my best friends, and I spent a lot of time at his house after school. It was the kind of place where everyone naturally gathered: there was a pool table in the front room, video games on the TV, CDs burning in the stereo (yes, those days!), and a sense of ease and freedom that felt different from anywhere else. It wasn’t just that it was fun - it was that it felt welcoming. I remember feeling like I could just be myself there. It was a truly special environment.
My favorite thing about their home, though, was Norm’s incredible book collection - shelves filled with hundreds of beautifully bound books, like something out of a movie. As a kid who loved reading, especially the classics (which there were plenty of), it felt magical. When Norm was home, he and I would talk about the books I was reading, and those conversations meant more to me than I probably ever realized or expressed at the time. I loved any chance to talk with him and always felt so special when he asked me questions.
He was a single dad, which I’m not sure I had ever really seen up to that point - clearly brilliant, cultured and worldly, thoughtful and patient, with very kind eyes. I remember deeply respecting him from the moment I met him as a teenager.
Years later, when Xander came back from college and we found our way back to each other in our 20s, I was going through a harder chapter in my life. Norm never judged me, never lectured - he simply treated me with kindness, respect, and quiet understanding. That meant more than I can fully put into words. Looking back, it felt like he always had faith that I would find my way, which I think he’d be happy to know I have.
One memory that has stayed with me all these years: around my birthday, Norm gave me a copy of Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro. He remembered how much I had loved The Remains of the Day back in high school and thought I would enjoy his latest work. The fact that he remembered this, years later, and chose that book for me is something I’ve never forgotten. I still have it on my shelf, and it remains one of my most cherished possessions
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I will always remember him with deep fondness and gratitude. For truly seeing me and treating me with such kindness. I feel lucky to have known him, even for a brief part of my life, and I’m better for it.
My heart goes out to Xander and all who loved him. He was truly one of a kind.
Lindsay
Norm epitomized, to me personally, the profound interconnected and connectedness that not brought so many of us students from all over the U.S. to meet and study together with Chogyam Trungpa , Rinpoche but also how our individual lives kept unfolding and intersecting. I always felt happy and totally at home to see Norm and Xander, and Norm’s passing in my presence, was and still is a very profound experience which is beyond words.
❤️🙏🔥
Brad
One evening we had just finished dinner in the main dining room, Norm was a little sleepy and we had all decided it was time to leave when a fellow resident (a stranger none of us knew) sat down at our table to have dinner. Norm, without saying a word, made it clear that he did not want to leave her to eat at the table alone. He was so kind - patiently waited for her to finish dinner (which hadn't even been ordered yet at the time she sat down).
It is a small example but I believe speaks volumes to his character. The kindness he showed strangers, putting others before himself came naturally to him. It did not matter how he was feeling, he did not want to leave her to eat alone. My mom and I knew that he had been ready to leave since before she sat down but the woman at the table with us had no idea...Norm was patient, polite and generous with his time. It was beautiful.
I am beyond grateful for all of the time I spent with such an exceptional human being.
Brad Upton was with my dad when he passed. When I left my dad's side for a brief meeting I was comforted that Brad, in particular, stayed with him. Here is what Brad sent me an hour or so later. This has given me and my family deep comfort:
I simply showed up to practice and had no agenda other than supporting Norm’s path. I didn’t have the slightest idea of what his timetable was. I went to open my heart to him, his son, his teacher Trungpa Rinpoche, and his family. That day turned out to be very profound for me.
At noon I had completed a 10-day Vajrakilaya retreat and headed into Boulder soon afterwards to see Norm and Xander. I was deeply touched by my auspicious connection with Norm as Vajrakilaya is revered for dispelling obstacles and Vajrasattva resides in his heart. When Xander, his partner Stephanie, and his aunt Connie left the room for a meeting with hospice personnel, I changed seats to look directly into Norm’s eyes and began saying the Vajrasattva mantra out loud to him and he began to look into my eyes. Within 23 minutes he left very peacefully.
I have been blessed to attend other friends’ passings and Norm left very beautifully.
"Remembering Norm" Service
1301 Spruce St, Boulder, CO 80302
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