Mohala i ka wai ka maka o ka pua.
Unfolded by the water are the faces of flowers.
-MARY KAWENA PUKUI
Obituary
W
ith broken hearts we lament the loss of our treasured daughter, sister, mother, wife and friend, Lauren Hokulani Apiki Ellsworth, who said her final aloha to her 'ohana here on earth to join her 'ohana in the beyond on October 31, 2024. Her loss has left us unmoored and adrift, but we hold fast to the precious memories she filled our lives with, and the unwavering ferocity with which she protected, nurtured and cherished those she loved.
Born on August 29, 1958, to parents Walter and Carol Apiki, Lauren grew up on Windward O’ahu with her younger sisters, Karen and Renee, swimming along the gentle shores of Kailua beach and playing beneath the Banyan tree at their Lanikai home. A proud graduate of Kamehameha Schools’ Class of 1976, Lauren forged lifetime bonds with her classmates and carried with her throughout her life the foundations of her Native Hawaiian heritage. She later graduated from Utah State University and went on to a successful career as a creative director at The Advertising Works, working alongside her mother and sister. Lauren later founded and ran The LET Academy, a non-profit dedicated to integrating technology into local school curricula. With the help of a grant from Apple Computer, Lauren held workshops for teachers statewide to illustrate how computers could be used in the classroom. She also worked directly with students in two public leeward elementary charter schools to collaborate on environmental issues and publish their findings on class created websites, with DLNR extending grants to the schools for further environmental initiatives.
Lauren was happiest spending time with her family. While in her 20's, she cared for and hanai’d daughter Tanya Lei, who grew up as a member of the Apiki household. Later, Lauren raised daughter Leihoku alongside husband J and and as "bonus mom" to Morgan and Kellar, designing and building their beautiful family home in Manoa. Many of her favorite treasured memories were made there, in their tradition-filled holiday celebrations, her afternoons landscaping and caring for her incredible hillside garden or creating handmade blankets and quilts in her sewing room. With the birth of her grandchildren, Orion and Jove (Morgan) and Hokeo (Leihoku), they became the center of her world. Lauren spent most of her last days doing what she loved most – reading books to Hokeo and spending time with 'ohana.
We struggle to accept that Lauren left us far too soon, with many plans left unfinished, memories left unmade. But Lauren knew—as only someone with that deep wisdom of a life well-led, as a soul so deeply cherished, as one who has given so much and filled our lives to brimming with love, would know—that it is not all about the things left undone. Perhaps that is why she was so diligent in her role as the shaper and keeper of memories, taking thousands of photographs of those moments that meant the most to her. These are her gifts to us, already given. She is ours completely, in all that we shared with her, all that we carry with us now, and forever.
Lauren is survived by husband J; daughter Leihoku (Matthew); Hanai daughter Tanya Lei (Nate); "bonus sons" Morgan (Whitney) and Kellar; mother Carol; sisters Karen (Lott) and Renee; grandchildren Hokeo (Leihoku), Orion and Jove (Morgan), Grey, Pryce, and Nixon (Tanya-Lei), nieces Kara and Katie, nephews Dane and Dylan, grandnieces Arielle and Dakota, and grandnephew Dawson.
Private services will be held by family and friends in August. Details below, RSVP requested.
A Letter to Mom
I miss you, Mom – in the quiet moments, in the loud ones, in every breath I take without you. My once almost perfect world has faded. And Time is no longer the healer of my heartache. I just feel further and further from you. From us. How do I live without you? I truly don’t know how. You are everywhere and nowhere. The physical pain is unbearable; like a disease. As I watch our little Hokeo make milestones, I think about how much you were looking forward to this part of your life. To watch me be a mom, and to be a Hine (grandma). His Hine. His everything. Like you are mine. My dreams are glittered with you, and my reality is broken. Just come back to me. I’ll be waiting. Forever. -Leihoku
Gallery
Memory Wall
The Connection:
Lauren Hokulani Apiki who’s life we celeebrate was amazing in so many ways Including a diverse background heralding her Hawaiian heritage that shecelebrated with her Kamehameha School friendships and contact. Later learning her great great Grandfather was Walter Murray Gibson a Premier to Hawaii under King David Kalakaua, with both of Gibson’s sons marrying Hawaiian women.
Also, on her mom’s side, another Murray Grandfather.… yet never suspecting that there was an actual connection. Now we know there was. Both Murrays are from the Murray clan of Bonnierigg, Scotland. And simply a curious note, as a toddler, Lauren spoke with a burr….rolling her R’sssss like the Scots do.
As parents, we thot this the most precious babytalk and just one more exceptional trait of our first born,……..Lauren Hokulani
My Darling Lauren, I had the most wonderful talk with Tanya last night,I called earlier and left a message..because I knew she was going to Manoa todayto get everything ready. My Dearest, you’re coming Home. And we had such a. beautiful discussion.
It was all about YOU, well, You and Chanya when she arrived to spend the day ….. at your SF Hale last Sunday. She said "You cozied together on the Murphy bed and talked story for hours."
And Tanya kept describing how absolutely beautiful you looked, especially your skin, that it was actually glowing and your hair is all growing back and how stylish that “short doo” lookes, . She said she’d never seen you look more beautiful and that the two of you had such a great time gossiping about everything. And finally at one moment , Lauren read me “Mom’s silly little Dream Scenario about when You & Jay fly home and stay in a rented Victorian home with a big yard and wide Lanai w/ just a few steps. A perfect place for your & Jay’s morning coffee and paper. With space for your Yoga and exercise. Tanya said you laughed and so enjoyed reading this and seemed delighted you were soon coming home. Of course, Mom’s little dreamscape included an extra apartment in the back yard….for Hokens, Matt and precious and active, Hokeo. A perfect transition place until your ready for climbing steps at Manoa. I felt I was there….the way Tanya described everything.
By the time we hung up I was both relieved and excited about your now coming home and taking your life back. As you should, for disrupting this life well lived….healthfully in every way….was so wrong. and puzzling. Now….Life as it should be for my incredible daughter. Tanya absolutely filled my heart with joy by describing your time together in San Francisco last Sunday. And Tanya kept mentioning again and again how wonderful you looked, you’d lost weight but your skin was glowing….She said, “Lauren never looked more beautiful.” Now doesn’t that give you liift as well?
Plus your humor that day, you both just kept laughing. And my hope swelled as well hearing this, I was so thankful she had called. I bet your excited as well, yuh?
Oh, and Tanya said she has taken time off so she can stay with you to help out in Manoa. I guess something you will discuss and work out once you’re here.
When in life are we stripped right down to the bone of our feeling and appreciation of both life and love.? Good gawd, not to mention the damn pain We can say that dear Jay has been ripped apart tfor sure….starting last April. Then, I thought you’d for sure be back home by August….your birthday. So Jay enduring it all along with you for 7 long painful months, certainly an exhibit of true love and commitment, a true hero, yuh? So, my darling Daughter, soon back home and the life you had to suddenly abandon. Your marvelous home above the banyon tree and those views, plus the garden you’ve always prided in. I can see you now there puttering with your plants and gathering afew greens for tonight’s salad. Jay so anticipating another incredible, yet healthy Dinner.
Then later, after you’ve rested and ready…..back to The Sisters day you’ve continued forever. Lauren - Karen - Renee.. Sometimes with Sister-Daughter, Tanya. Or a Sunny Day at Ka’a'awa seeing Mom & Dad. And if not Potato-Eggs maybe Lauren’s Pecan Coffeecake. Then, you and the sissies , out to catch rays and you trying to convince them to “go for. a dip.” Soon, you and Jay to your special haunts, Oahu and their Mahi, the whole Colony setting there by the Ocean. At last…. All the marvelous tastings that you’ve missed, now await. The pure joy to watch Hokeo spring up with Leihoku and Matt anxious to move closeby. Always our Chanya, you there for her since a tiny two ….Tanya there for you. Now plus Nate and the keeds, Grey, Pricie, Nixon. So much to look forward to and more keiki with Morgan & Whitney, always Keller and girlfriend and Suilan.
So many keiki looking for and longing for “Auntie Wonderful”, You laughed about that moniker, remember.
That whole batch of nieces, nephews….”Let’s see, you’d say, “Who needs a new pair of Shoes?” A new bike? Whatever?, you’d always surprise the keiki with something to spread their smiles and delight them. Or, time to buy more fabric for sewing up another Kiheipili …From wayback, still visualize you there at the old sewing machine stitching up an outfit for a dance, a keiki blanket or ? So busy and industrious . Finally the Hawaiian Quilt pillows, or the Swedish Flag pillow via tiny quilting that took forever, yet you trudged through so many. And Lauren how we’ve enjoyed your lovely sewing skills and wonder did these flow down from your Swedish great grand, Johannah? And you visted Sweden more than once. And Spain and so many places plus France, Paris meeting Mom when your language led you to Provence and later Cousin Leilani, you and Renee. All the memories of family through the years. Baby Kara perched on your shoulders for a “Walk-a-beach” at Lanikai, most every day.
Your Graduation at Utah State after Pepperdine and living in Gram’s old pioneer home in Cache Valley.
Family and more family……Danie and his troupe, Katie, Dylan. And more keiki with Morgan & Whitney…..Keller and girlfried, plus Suilan.
And hey,, me the Mom…... can’t wait. Luvya so my dearest,
Just tryin’ to round up your strong circle of L. O. V. E, it’s everywhere.
Of course for now, it’s to simply relax, recover and catch your breath … You're in charge of any get-to-gethers, you and Jay.
LOVE YOU FOREVER & EVER & EVER…Our Darling first born daughter, Lauren Mom & Dad X 0
P.S. See you soon
With every blooming rainbow shower and
rising moonlight sunset~
I will see you.
Me Ke Aloha ~
Kappy (Enos) Shiroma
Vous avez fini par retrouver « la missîng cousin «
Et la rencontre avec vous tous , votre accueil si chaleureux 🥰
Aujourd’hui je n’arrive toujours pas croire que tu n’es plus là 💔les moments que nous avons partagé sur Oahu et en France sont de très très précieux souvenirs ♥️
Je ne pourrai pas être là physiquement pour l’hommage qui te sera rendu 🥺
Mes pensées s’adressent particulièrement à toi ‘Hoku , à toi Aunty Carol , à tes très chères sœurs Renée et Karen , à toi J privé de ton bel oiseau des îles et bien sûr à tous les proches , familles et amis .
Du fond du coeur : ta cousine Leilani ♥️🌈♥️
all who knew her; taken too soon. I was never gifted with a
daughter, but if I had I would want her to be like Lauren. From
far away Texas, I send my fondest Aloha to my lifelong friends,
the Apiki clan. A beautiful family
Uncle De
Celebration of Life
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