Kathy Guy

Dear Smith family,
Losing Kathy is an indescribable loss and pain for you and for all who knew her. My sympathy and hope that, in time, some comfort comes to you with your memories and the love she had for you.

We are all born with a mom. When we are lucky, they love us unconditionally, teach us, and encourage us along the way. I am fortunate to have one of those. But sometimes, you also get a “bonus mom” — or “Momma G,” in this case — who gives you all of that too.

Kathy was one of those moms we all loved, welcoming the neighborhood kids as part of her own family. From rides to the movie theater to raids on the refrigerator, a group of us always found our way to the Guy house because of the warmth of their home.

Even as we got older, Kathy was always the one who greeted me with a special “Hello, Chad,” said in a way that always carried a bit of laughter in it somehow and love. I can still hear it now. She made me feel welcome even when I intruded on family moments — Erin’s college graduation, the family cruise to the Caribbean, or even randomly joining them for dinner when we both happened to be in Southern California at the same time. There were probably a million more times I interrupted some family moment.

Thank you to the entire Guy family for allowing me to share a little bit of your wife and mom in my life. I am a better person for having known Kathy, and she will truly be missed.

I have known Kathy since Erin and Jody were in first grade - so about 43 years. We kind of shared children as Jody and Erin traveled between houses. Then we shared grandchildren when Jody and Brian married and had children. Kathy was a special person for sure who nurtured all. She leaves behind children, grandchildren and one grreat grandchild who all benefited from her love and caring. She will be missed by all.

This is a letter I wrote to Kathy. I'm sharing it here in gratitude for the love she gave and the life she lived.

Dear Kathy,

I can’t stop thinking about you...What keeps coming to me is how much you have radiated love and safety into your world. Not in a dramatic way, just in the way you’ve always carried yourself. You have always had this quiet steadiness that makes people feel like they can breathe and just be themselves around you. Kids, friends, in-laws, neighbors, teammates, random people who pop into your life…you just have a way of making everyone feel seen without making a show of it.

I saw it so clearly even when I was a little girl. I was seven years old, scared to stay the night at your house, trying to look brave, and you didn’t tell me I was in a safe place...you just created it. Your smile was so bright. Your house felt calm (even with three boys). Your presence felt warm. Because that is who you are…someone people can lean into without even realizing why.

Over the years, I watched you move through so many lives that way. You weren’t loud about your influence, but it was everywhere. On the sidelines of our softball games, in car rides, on vacations, in kitchens, over the phone, in holidays or celebrations, or even in ordinary moments that ended up being the most meaningful. You didn’t need the spotlight…because you were the ground beneath everyone else.

What strikes me most is how you shaped your children…Not by control, but by trust. You let them be who they were meant to be, stumble when they needed to, and find their way. That’s why they are who they are. Erin’s strength and heart. Mark’s grace and steadiness. And Brian…your patience with him, your belief in him, your willingness to let him grow into himself…that is why he is the man he is today…loyal, kind, hard-working…the man our kids look up to.

I also think a lot about John in this moment. You carried a loss that would have broken many people, and instead, you turned it into something that kept your family together. That wasn’t accidental. That was your character, your resilience, and your love. Because of you, your grandson carries a name that means something deep and good.

You have loved and cared for others your whole life, Kathy. Your love has traveled far and didn’t stop at your kids. It reached me, your grandchildren, your friends, the kids you watched play sports, the people who passed through your home. You made belonging feel easy, and family feel bigger than blood.

I just want you to know that the circle around you is strong because of you. The people who love you are better because of you. You created a kind of love that lives on in how your family treats one another and how we show up in the world. You are deeply loved by Jack, by your kids, by your grandkids, by me, by your siblings, by your friends, and by everyone who was lucky enough to be in your orbit.

Thank you for all you’ve brought into my life and the lives of everyone you’ve touched. You loved us good, and we felt every ounce of it.

Until next time, sweet lady…I love you.

Jody