Joshua Andrew Parry

You walked a hard road, Josh — one that few could see and fewer could understand.

Since meeting you at nine years old, you’ve always been part of my life and our family’s story. I have such fond memories of our road trips to your dental appointments in Essex, and of the times you spent with me while your dad was travelling back and forth between Wickford and London to look after Aunt Winnie.

One of my earliest memories of you and your siblings is doing school run times tables “up and down the ladder,” exactly as your dad instructed, and watching the playfights between the three of you and your dad complete with an actual stick (I think I was a bit scarred by that :)

As you grew older, our relationship became more distant, but we always came together for Christmases and birthday celebrations and there were plenty of those.

Though we stood apart at times, I never wished you anything but rest, and moments of light in the shadows you carried.

I hope the place you’ve gone is softer than the one you left. A place where your mind is quiet and your spirit finally unburdened.

I hold you in my thoughts with gentleness, and with the hope that peace has found you at last.

Cuz!

First of all, want to extend the thoughts and prayers on behalf of the family up in the Midlands and across in USA

What can I say. I can remember being younnng it was only school holiday times I'd ever get to see you guys so was always short and sweet. So when it got to the later time in life, I'm actually glad we had that window of time living together. You (well all 3 of you) but gave me a chance to play my "big brother" role. You defo added entertainment value!

What was that game... Runescape? LOL Gossshh, I tried to understand it but that was not for me! But seeing how locked in you was with it and able to explain so much to me, just proved your levels of intelligence & fixation. Ha, Remember when I got cussed for being on the laptop and it was your time! :-p

Years passed and last time I saw you, those characteristics had not gone! The genius in you tried to school me to the world of crypto! Should have listened to understand more eh! I'd possibly be well on the way now

Common theme, you had a heart of gold and willing to help those around you!

Anyway young man, we are now here. I do hope that you somehow, somewhere feel at peace. I hope you Thank you for the memories cuz. Until we meet again, salute!

Goodnyte

Josh, my first date with Millie nine years ago was the first time she mentioned you. She was telling me about her many siblings while I created a mental diagram to remember names. When she spoke of you I remember two things. One was her saying that you had been in the army and have a lot of tattoos and secondly that your birthday was the day before mine. As Millie is quite tall I imagined you as being a hulking presence that would read me the brotherly riot act when we first met to ensure I treated your big sister the way she deserved to be treated or I would be met with you and her other brothers to put me right. However when I first met you, you were different than I expected, quieter but very funny. I also thought that neither of our birthdays could be forgotten!

We didn’t spend a lot of time together but I have a lot of fond memories of sitting with you and your mum and listening to you and at times, Millie and Miles playfully tease her. It seemed to give you all no end of joy.

Also playing scrabble a lot, you and your two word X plays would always seem to rocket you to near the top, if not the top of the scorecards and if no one else had an X, we knew that you had them and were biding your time to hit us with a 40 point score.

One of the last times I saw you was a few months ago and your first words to me were. “You’re looking old man” I couldn’t argue it - the greys had been creeping in. I replied that it would eventually happen to you too! But on the way home Millie had said that you had said the same thing to her so at least we were aging at an advanced rate together. I also remember you mentioning your receding hair line (same thing Mill does) and chuckling at the irony of saying that to me while both having a perfect head of hair.

Millie has often told me that you used to be quick with the quips and sarcastic and we would have terrorised her together if we met at another time in our lives. So here’s to that next time we meet, it will be a lot of fun.

I hope that you are resting and know that you are already working on another plan to get rich. You were loved by all of your family and not a day will go by where we all won’t miss you. I promise to look after Millie for you always.

Rest easy brother.

Josh, we weren’t especially close, but losing you has had quite an impact on me. I remember that early morning so clearly when Miles and Mum walked into the bedroom, waiting for Will to wake up so we could all talk. Before anything had even been said, my mind went straight to you. I asked if you were okay, almost instinctively. Hoping what was about to be said wasn’t true.

There are a couple of memories I’ll always hold onto.

The first is us playing RuneScape, sitting side by side in the kiddie lounge, completely fixated on levelling up. I remember how higher level players would randomly give me free, expensive items and you’d look over at my screen and say, “That’s so not fair,” while I just laughed. It’s something small, but it stayed with me. Even now, RuneScape still comes up in conversations with people I meet, and it always gives me a sense of connection. That started with you, you were the one who introduced me to it, who showed me the ropes. I like to think I learned from the best.

The other memory is from Daniel’s wedding. Juliet picked me up from Dad’s, and you were in the car with Shan, as we all squished up in the back seat with Miles at the front. You were so chatty it was lovely to see you relaxed, smiling and making conversation. It felt different, in a good way. That ended up being the last time I spoke to you, and I’m grateful that my final memory of you is one where you seemed happy and at peace.

I know there are people who are much closer to you, and who are feeling this loss in a deeper way than I am. But I still feel it, and I will carry these memories with me.
I hope you’re happy and at peace now.
Goodbye Josh x

Lego rock band era

In our earlier years Josh and I never really saw eye to eye. He was like Dennis the menace and I would often be on the receiving end of a plan or scheme. I can remember a time when both Millie and Josh teamed up against me by managing to convince me that they both had died and turned into zombies, which quite rightly petrified my lil 4 year old soul.

Which is why, a couple years later I watched and laughed in pure amusement at image of Joshua chasing Millie around the lounge with a captured moth. Annoying mum or Millie was always one of mine and Joshua's favourite past time - to be fair, its their fault for being wound up so easily ;)

I think just because Joshua didn't go for a conventional academic route, his intelligence was often overlooked or underestimated. He was a naturally inquisitive and incredibly bright person, and as mentioned by others, very very kind. This was really exemplified in his later years where his inventions were often focused on world peace, or ending world hunger - things that would benefit the most vulnerable.

I'm going to miss you so much bro. I'll keep crpto mining until we reach that first million ❤️

Josh was a huge part of my life for 10 years, and it is difficult to put into words what that means. We shared so much of time together and so many of my memories include him.
I first met Josh in London, and he helped save me from a very traumatic time in my life with my own family. That is something I will always carry with me. Without him reaching out, I wouldn’t be here today in London, and it’s something I will always be thankful to him for.
Josh was incredibly intelligent. He was always thinking, always coming up with ideas, and always convinced that he was one invention away from changing the world.

He genuinely wanted to create something that would make people's lives better, and I admired that optimism and belief in what could be possible.
He was creative, ambitious, and never short of a plan. Josh always seemed to be looking towards the future, imagining new possibilities and chasing ideas that excited him. He had a way of thinking differently, and he wasn't afraid to dream big. He had countless business ideas, including his clothing business, and he would talk about them constantly—so much so that I’m pretty sure I could still pitch his ideas myself now after hearing them on repeat for years. He would drive me absolutely mad with it at times, but it was also part of his passion and his mind always being switched on. He genuinely believed he would make millions from his ideas, and that would usually be followed by a cackle that made it impossible not to laugh along with him.

In the ten years I spent walking alongside him through life's ups and downs, I saw a man who wanted to heal the world. I saw a man who loved deeply, cared deeply, and never stopped thinking about how things could be better. I also saw his mischievous side. The famous "Joshua taunt" was absolutely lethal, and I think it's safe to say we all fell victim to it at some point. Me? I fell victim over and over again! He had a mischievous side that brought humour into so many moments, and it's one of the things I will always remember about him.

And then there was his love of animals.
After I asked if we could get a rabbit, Joshua countered with what he clearly thought was the better idea: a ginger cat. That's how Nala came into our lives.
To say he adored that cat would be an understatement. Nala was his world. I used to joke that she'd stolen him from me. He had endless nicknames for her big cheese being one of them. To this day, I'm still not entirely sure where the cheese came from, but somehow it suited her perfectly, and I still use it now.
After Nala came Buddy, and together we'd often joke that there was definitely something a little unusual about that cat. Joshua loved them both endlessly. No matter what battles he was fighting internally, those cats were always cared for, always loved, and never went without.

I remember Joshua's style, too.
My goodness, that man was about forty years ahead of his time. He loved a vintage jumper, and his Clarks shoes were practically a personality trait. Even now, I can't see a pair of Clarks without hearing him singing Vybz Kartel's Clarks. And don't even get me started on Skechers. The second I see a pair, I can hear him singing DripReport - Skechers.
Joshua had very strong opinions on fashion and wasn't shy about questioning everyone else's taste. The funny thing was, he actually dressed well. He was a handsome lad. But I would always tell him he looked like somebody's grandad, and without fail, every single time, he'd take the bait. It would usually end with us both laughing until we couldn't breathe.

Then there was Joshua's relationship with food.
As everyone here probably knows, Joshua was incredibly fussy. He was also absolutely convinced he was allergic to onions.
He wasn't.
Unfortunately, no amount of evidence would persuade him otherwise.

For years, I blended onions into sauces so he wouldn't notice. I swapped fresh onions for onion granules. Yet somehow, if I used even slightly too much, he'd know immediately. He'd give me a look of complete disgust, and I'd have to admit defeat and start cooking something else.

He loved a good steak, and paprika was his seasoning of choice. If a steak wasn't completely covered in paprika, it wasn't seasoned enough. I never quite managed to get the ratio right, so eventually Joshua became the household's dedicated steak chef.
And if neither of us could be bothered to cook? KFC or fish and chips solved all of life's problems.

Josh also spoke about his family to me a lot, and it was clear how much they meant to him, even if he didn’t always say it in straightforward ways. You could hear it in the way he talked about them and the place they held in his life. I’m going to say a few things about his family, because there are a lot of you and I’d be here all day otherwise, I will mention the names of the other people he loved at the end and if you would like to know a little of what he would say just come and find me.

To his mum — he would say she’s crazy, but that she has a good heart. He would tell me he loved his mum and that she was very caring and kind. He loved sitting at her house and driving her mad with all of his inventions and ideas. He particularly enjoyed winding her up, which I saw on many occasions. He loved you so much, and he especially loved our Scrabble games together. He was always so sure that when he was losing, everyone else must be cheating, and he would threaten to walk away from the game. Even when he said he didn’t want to play, I knew how much he actually enjoyed those moments. He would love it when you would come to the flat ans drink loads of tea with us and he enjoyed looking after you
He loved you so much

To his dad — he would always talk about how smart you were, and how you were the person he went to when he needed help navigating life in a more philosophical way. He loved your debates and conversations about life, the universe, and everything in between. Like his mum, I always knew how much he loved you.
I know he didn’t come around as much and that wasn’t down to you all it was down to anxiety and his struggles
When he would come he would go home saying he had a really nice time and we would debrief usually - keeping it in theme I’m pretty sure he got his competitive side at board games from you! He was like you in so many ways and I know he loved you

Millie — he adored you. How could he not, you are his big sister. He loved debating with you and driving you mad just for the sake of it. When he talked about you, he would say you were smart and funny, especially when you’d had a bit of Prosecco. He would say you are a talented singer (he adored your voice) and makeup artist! He also used to say you were competitive just like him and absolutely lethal on a board game — especially that Scrabble game you won. He never forgot that day. Now that made him salty, and he was determined after that to never lose again

Miles — you made him laugh so much. He loved speaking to you about everything and anything, and he loved you deeply.
He particularly enjoyed you both getting into crypto together and laughing about all the millions you were going to make! How could you not he was ahead of the game with his get rich quick and miles he wanted you there with him succeeding!

Will — he adored the pants off you. He loved it when you’d come and stay and the two of you would eat the house out together, play video games until stupid hours, and laugh about nonsense. It was beautiful to see just how much he loved you and had your back.

Ruby — in Josh’s eyes, you were funny and strong in what you believed. I still remember the time you went vegetarian. It started as a bet, and Josh was convinced there was no way you’d stick to it, but you did. He ate his words and he was proud! He loved you very much!

Elena — his little hustler. That’s what he would call you. He would say you were very business-minded and that you made him laugh on multiple occasions. He loved you, and he loved the mischievous side of you that mirrored his own.

Cameron — just like Elena, he would say you were business-minded and sharp, and that he enjoyed seeing you grow into your own way of doing things. Like miles he decided that he would try and bring you into crypto because if he was making millions everyone else in his family sure had to be too! He wanted you to succeed like everyone else I’ve mentioned today

I’m only going to mention those siblings right now but he did have two others that he loved and adored spending time with just as much when he was at his dads Lucy and Daniel along with his dads partner in crime Clare he loved all of you!
He also had a lot of time for the following people: Ben Millie’s husband, Christie miles partner, aunt pat, Terry, Janice, his moms sisters & many others that I could mention but I’d be here all day! You know who you are


Life was not always easy for Josh. Our relationship wasn’t perfect and it was very up and down, but I do believe he loved me throughout. He lived with mental health struggles that made things incredibly difficult for him. Many people may not have seen the battles he was fighting, but they were real, and they were hard. Despite that, I want to remember Josh for more than those struggles. I want to remember his intelligence, his creativity, his humour, his dreams, and the person he was beyond his illness.

I feel lucky to have been a part of his story.
My heart goes out to his family, his friends, and everyone who loved him.
Goodbye, Josh. Thank you for the memories, the laughter, the lessons, and the years we shared. You will always be remembered.

One of my earliest memories of Joshua is of us at Durning Hall for some sort of toddler mother-and-child play session. Everyone is seated in a circle because a man has brought in animals for us to look at- a spider, an owl. With everyone distracted, we suddenly notice that Joshua is missing, and as we turn, we realise he has left the circle and is up on the stage behind us, hand in the biscuit tin. An animal show seems rather fantastical for a small playgroup in Forest Gate, so maybe we were sitting in a circle for another reason. I’m not sure how much of that memory is actually what happened, but Joshua sneaking biscuits, being cheeky enough to go and get what he wanted, and cute enough to get away with it, seems about right.

From picking conkers in West Ham Park and Wanstead Flats, and collecting frogs from Magpie Park in Chinese takeaway containers (mum wasn’t pleased about that), for kids who grew up to be pretty introverted adults, we did like to explore. One of our favourite trips as children was going to McDonald’s or the Golden Lion Café with our grandad Terry, followed by window-shopping in Woolworths, and if we were lucky, we’d get Pokémon cards. Joshua had a boldness about him; he wasn’t afraid to ask for what he wanted, something I am still envious of, and Terry loved spoiling us.

As a kid, he seemed effortlessly funny and confident, easily making friends at after-school clubs and with the kids down the street in a way that I, as a chronic overthinker, took much longer to do. Whether it was rollerblading, biking, or gaming, he was a typical boy. One of my favourite memories is of the time when, having no pocket money, Josh declared we should sell things we didn’t want. Josh called on kids from down our road, some of whom were slightly older than us, which made his plan seem even cooler. We gathered our possessions, including old videotapes and toys, and went door-to-door. By the end of it, we had sold almost everything, bought toys from each other, and were completely delighted with ourselves. Josh’s entrepreneurial nature was evident from an early age.

His love of gaming was also apparent early on. We were lucky enough to have a Nintendo 64, followed years later by a PS2. We spent countless hours playing Banjo-Kazooie, Ratchet & Clank, Need for Speed, and Grand Theft Auto as kids- I don’t think mum was quite aware of the content in that game. Looking back, I can now admit that he was a much better gamer than me. Like most 90s kids, we collected Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh cards, slime aliens, and Tamagotchis. He was not above nicking collectibles, although he would usually try to cut a deal with you first.

Another strong memory from our childhood is of him telling me that mum had said we could watch Hellraiser, a film that I later realised he had simply snuck from her cupboard and, I suspect, didn’t want to watch alone. I think we were both terrified by it, although neither of us would admit it. He did, however, manage to get me to scream when he turned the lights off while I was in the toilet afterwards- hilarious.

Our family has a mean sense of humour. From his big head to my big teeth, our ability to wind each other up never faded. Like a lot of siblings, we fought a lot and made up a lot, and then fought again. Always with the unspoken understanding that, even though we drove each other mad, we loved each other. Like many of my siblings, we share a stubbornness- always thinking that we are right and more than happy to engage in a lengthy debate or wager to prove it.

We had moments of great joy and love in our childhood, but also moments of stress, sadness and complicated dynamics. As we got older, our parents, who are living life for the first time too, struggled in their own ways. I hope they will not find it too difficult for me to say that. At times, it felt like a weight or a puzzle that we couldn’t quite understand. In our teenage years, I withdrew into myself, escaping into fantasy books, but for Joshua, his escape was RuneScape. He spent hour after hour doing quests, PvP fights, trading in-game items and accounts. Miles and I played too, although not nearly quite as obsessively, and while getting computer time was always a competition, Josh was patient and helped me learn the game, teaching me what to do and helping me with quests whenever I got stuck.

After school, I don’t think Josh knew what he wanted to do. He dabbled here and there with different possibilities but without much drive. When Josh joined the army, he told me it would be a chance for everyone to be proud of him. He was awarded Most Improved Cadet at his passing-out parade and was the second-best shot. He was meticulous, with his beret perfectly moulded and completely lint-free. It seemed like the start of something.

When he managed to be discharged early from the army- a feat in itself- he was immediately concerned about what our grandad might think, having been so proud of him for joining. He only spoke to me briefly about the racist bullying he had reported in the army, and once again, he seemed unmoored, adrift among different possibilities but, from the outside, without a clear sense of direction.

Although he became unwell shortly after his time in the army, with what would eventually become a diagnosis of schizophrenia, he did meet the love of his life during that time: Shan, who quickly became a member of our family and loved him through both the good and the bad. I know that their support of one another, despite difficult odds, brought him great comfort during darker times.

I visited him in hospital the week before he passed away. We ate Krispy Kreme doughnuts and laughed about how old we were looking now. We spoke about our other siblings and how well they were all doing. We talked about his plans for the future and the inventions he wanted to build- one to help heal people’s moods with energy, and another to help people understand or read each other’s emotions, so they could be more empathetic and understand one another without having to say a word.

We also spoke about the painful side effects of the medication he was on, the bleeding it caused, his frustrations with the doctors and nurses for what he felt was their lack of understanding and roughness, and his fears that this time they wouldn’t let him out for a long time.

Since you left us, I’ve been looking through an art book that you ordered to read when you got out. I can see why you liked it. Paulina Peavy’s work is full of geometric shapes that remind me of your tattoos, and they believed in extraterrestrials and reincarnation like you too. My hope is that, in your final actions, you felt autonomy and peace. And while I have never been spiritual, I hope with all my heart that you get another shot around the sun- this time with an easier, kinder life.

Your big sister,

Millie x

Death is not the end
but the beginning
of a metamorphosis.
For matter is never destroyed,
only transformed
and rearranged –
often more perfectly.
Witness how in the moment of the caterpillar’s death
the beauty of the butterfly is born
and released from the prison of the cocoon
it flies free.
(Peter Tatchell)