John McAlpine

To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.

Obituary

John McAlpine was born on February 19, 1959, in New Haven, Connecticut, the third of four children of James P. and Sally McAlpine. Raised as a minister’s son alongside a mother who embodied a life of kindness and service, John developed an enduring commitment to helping others.

Frequent ministry driven moves across states shaped a family culture rooted in community and connection. This was deepened by the international exchange students welcomed to their family home through Sally’s work, many of whom remained lifelong
friends. Sally later arranged for John to study abroad in Bogotá, Colombia, a formative experience that transformed his once-struggling Spanish into fluency, sparked a lasting love for the language, and a broader worldview.

John met the love of his life, Cyndi Martin, in 1984 while they were both working at his grandfather’s restaurant in Boston- an upscale establishment with strict rules against fraternizing among the staff. John and Cyndi found a way to nurture their relationship by sharing adventures, trips, and the thrill of a quiet, secret romance. Both were in times of transition, and each supported the other’s pursuit of a master’s degree in different states, John at the University of New Mexico and Cyndi at Washington State University. They stayed connected through long-distance calls and stacks of handwritten letters. After completing their degrees and a couple more moves (Louisville, KY and Lufkin, TX), they married at John’s beloved boyhood Camp O-AT-KA in Sebago, Maine, beginning a lifetime of love, partnership, and mutual support.

John’s gift for service, often lovingly described as “aggressively helpful,” shone even brighter with the arrival of his daughters, Kelsey and Amber. He was a hands-on father who delighted in every part of their lives. Whether tiring them out at local playgrounds, cheering at sporting events, helping them move from place to place, or simply being present, John embraced fatherhood with devotion, humor, and boundless love.

A natural athlete, John could pick up almost any sport, but running was his true love. He found joy in both cross country and long-distance events beginning in high school, continuing at the University of New Hampshire, and through adulthood. After graduating from UNH, he discovered an equal love for coaching which started by coaching himself to his personal best mile time of 4:09.

Carrying his love for the Spanish language and running forward, teaching and coaching became John’s life’s work. He taught Spanish at both the high school and middle school levels, pouring himself into his students’ learning and well-being. Many stayed in touch, thanking him for the guidance and inspiration he offered. Even after retirement, he relished opportunities to substitute teach, finding joy in being part of a school community. As a coach, first at Harrisburg High School in Oregon, later at Hastings Middle School in Ohio, he built cross country programs grounded in teamwork, encouragement, and perseverance. He used to joke that cross country was the one sport where athletes with less natural talent got the most playing time. At Hastings, his program became so popular that three additional coaches were hired to support the growing number of runners.

In retirement, John devoted himself to staying connected with others and supporting Third Act Oregon, a nonprofit working to protect democracy and address climate change. He served as Coordinator for Democracy-based campaigns and on the Coordinating Committee. John held a deep belief in a government that serves everyone, upholds the rule of law, and supports people in need. He carried a steady hope that more people would step forward to defend social and environmental justice.
John was deeply at home in the outdoors. He found peace and perspective hiking in the mountains, especially among the quiet majesty of old-growth forests. (He was forever hopeful he’d catch a glimpse of Bigfoot.)

Those who knew John admired his sensitivity, compassion, and thoughtful engagement with the world. He had an uncommon ability to be fully present with anyone he spoke to, listening with genuine curiosity, offering kindness, and sharing stories that connected people.

He valued the written word and participated in several book clubs over the years. During COVID, a time of isolation for many, John began a weekly postcard project, eventually mailing more than 30 postcards each week to friends, acquaintances, and those who
simply needed connection. John’s humor, warmth, and deep love for his family shaped every part of his life. He made the world better, and he made the people around him better, simply by bringing out the best in each of us.

John is predeceased by his parents, Jim and Sally McAlpine. He is survived by his wife, Cyndi; his daughters Kelsey (Trey) Nash and Amber (Blake and Henry Arnold) McAlpine; his sisters Holly (Dennis) Dulac, Julie (Crawford) Butler, Barb (Hugh) Hennessey, and his loyal English Cream Retriever pup, Charley.

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Honoring John