Faye Laura Fritz

Obituary

It is with deep sorrow that we announce the passing of our beloved Faye. Loving wife to her late husband Doug, caring and generous mother to Jackie and Nicole, adoring Nana to Henry, sweet and thoughtful mother-in-law to Murray and Joe, inseparable companion to her late elder sister June, and dearest aunt to her six nephews.

Faye was a study in toughness and tenderness, shaped by her painful childhood in Nova Scotia. She was born into a household of poverty and violence, and abandoned by her mother at seven years of age. The trauma of those years was compounded by the refusal of neighbours, family members and the police to believe what she and June were telling them about their nightmarish situation. This shattered her trust in people, which became a lifelong challenge she worked hard to overcome.

At fourteen, Faye left home to escape her reality and make a new and better life for herself. She moved to New Brunswick for a short time, eventually making her way to Toronto at the age of seventeen. There she found a job at Starkman’s Pharmacy, then a family-run business that would eventually become Shopper’s Drug Mart. The Starkman family was pivotal in changing the course of Faye’s life and her overall outlook. They knew she was vulnerable and hungry and in turn protected and fed her. And in the spirit of “teaching a man to fish”, they taught her everything she needed to know about bookkeeping so she could survive on her own. Always having a mind for math, she flourished in her new role and became a valuable asset to the company. Just before leaving Starkman’s to have her first child, the family showered her with every gift imaginable, including a crib and stroller, to ensure she and Doug had everything they needed for their new baby. The Starkman’s extraordinary kindness taught Faye that there were good people in the world, people she could trust and love and who loved her back.

The next step in her trust-building journey was meeting the love of her life, Doug. They met on a blind date that was arranged by Faye’s roommate and her date. While descending the apartment elevator on that auspicious night, Faye nervously wondered who was waiting for her in the lobby. When the elevator door opened, Doug’s smile immediately put her at ease and any fears of awkwardness were put to rest. They danced and talked the entire night, and so began a truly beautiful love story.

One of the more special traditions Doug and Faye shared was their annual Valentine’s Day dinner. Faye, always the amazing cook, would create an elaborate multi-course menu which she’d print out and embellish with a charming arts and crafts touch. Doug would never know what was in store for him, but he anticipated it all with genuine excitement. For his part, he would dress up in one of his beautiful suits and sport a heart-patterned tie. It was important for him to show Faye his utmost respect and appreciation for her huge effort. Once the feast was done Doug would wash all the dishes, as he always did, then he and Faye would dance in the living room to “Can I Have This Dance”, sung by Anne Murray. These sorts of profoundly romantic gestures continued to play out until Doug’s untimely passing.

Faye’s childhood traumas informed her ability to spot both a good and bad egg. She had no time for phonies, but was fiercely protective of and generous towards those who were good and kind. Despite her lack of positive role models from childhood, she was an amazing mother to many. She thrived on attending to those who needed care of any kind, and since Faye’s passing we’ve heard many stories about her being a surrogate mother of sorts to friends, neighbours and former work colleagues. Giving was something that made her feel good and gave her true purpose.

A working mother at a time when being a housewife was still the norm, she put up with many indignities in the workplace. But she was tough and persevered by working hard and fearlessly putting people in their place when required. That admirable work ethic and straight talking nature helped her make impressive advances in her career. Despite the demands of her job, she always made time to knit items for school fundraisers, take her daughters to dance and piano lessons, and make dinner every single night. She was truly a force. Most importantly she was always there if you needed to talk about something, as she had an uncanny ability to know when something was wrong. And you could always count on great advice.

When Faye and Doug finally became grandparents after pretty much giving up hope on the idea, they dove into their roles in their usual way: as a great team. During Henry’s countless weekends at Nana and Opi’s, Doug played tirelessly with him, having water gun fights in the kiddie pool, going skating and on bike rides, building Lego…whatever made Henry happy. Meanwhile Faye planned and cooked Henry’s favourite foods and ensured he was given everything he needed to be kept healthy and alive, because had Doug been left to his own devices, Henry would have been fed ice cream and candy all weekend long. Henry loved those weekends more than anything, and now as a teenager, he feels so lucky to have had such a special relationship with his grandparents.

Only a couple of weeks after their 61st anniversary, Faye’s life was book-ended by tragedy when Doug was killed in a hit and run while riding his bike. The agony she suffered was crushing, especially because we knew it was something she’d never recover from. Not only did she have to rewire her brain to live the rest of her life without her sweetheart, but she had to endure the re-traumatizing processes of a court case and civil suit. However fighting for survival was in her bones, and she somehow continued on. Ultimately though, cancer had other plans. When she was diagnosed, she chose not to fight anymore, perhaps because she really just wanted to be with Doug again.

As devastating as life was for Faye after losing Doug, that period of time also carried with it one final chance to open up her heart to a whole new wave of kindness. Neighbours, old friends and casual acquaintances rallied around her, leaving her gobsmacked by their show of love and support. As a result Faye made many new friends who energized her, while their kindness and care continued to chip away at the last bits of tough veneer still left from her childhood. She was never softer nor more vulnerable than she was during this time, and she was all the better for it.

The day before Faye’s passing at Carpenter Hospice, two women entered her room to give her a reiki massage and gentle guitar serenade. Responding to a request for anything by Anne Murray, and not knowing the song’s significance, the musician began to play “Can I Have This Dance”. It was an incredibly moving moment. So when Faye passed away the next day and the staff assembled a procession to bid her farewell, the musician returned to play Faye’s favourite song as she passed out the door. We hope that Faye and Doug never stop dancing.

There will be no service. In lieu of flowers, please send a donation in Faye’s memory to either of these charities:
The Carpenter Hospice: https://give.stratly.com/carpenter-hospice/campaigns/40600-in-memoriam
The Salvation Army: https://donate.salvationarmy.ca/page/63451/donate/1?ea.tracking.id=SalvationArmy.ca&_gl=1*x61nr5*_gcl_au*MTU2MjAyMTEyMS4xNzM5NjU2Mzg4*_ga*MjAyODA0OTk1MS4xNzM5NjU2Mzg4*_ga_Y6BCPWPKVZ*MTczOTgxMDQ1NC4yLjAuMTczOTgxMDQ1NC42MC4wLjA.&_ga=2.155891195.1955568015.1739810455-2028049951.1739656388

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