Duncan John Greaves
A webpage to remember the life of Duncan Greaves, because he was always into that techy stuff.
Obituary
Much to the dismay of his older brother David, who had spent seven years as a care-free only child, Pat and Jack Greaves welcomed arguably their favourite son, Duncan, on 4 March 1967. He had a challenger to the throne when younger brother, Alan was born two years later, but this didn't stop them becoming close friends and remaining so throughout their lives. Duncan was blessed with brains, charm and the ability to be friends with everyone. He impressed his parents by finishing a jigsaw of the map of Australia at the tender age of two, did well at school and made lifelong friendships.
After a heavy eighteenth birthday, where he fell asleep behind a bench and had to be retrieved by a bouncer in the morning, Duncan decided to continue his drinking career alongside a degree in Geological Engineering from Newcastle University. During this time, he also discovered goth music, eyeliner and hairspray.
After graduating in 1989 and working several crap odd jobs, he got everyone's dream job of 'shitbagger' on an oil rig working for Haliburton Geodata, travelling across the North Sea, to the Netherlands and as far as Qatar. He got married to Diana, who he met at Leeds nightclub the Chocolate Factory, in 1990 and in 1991, he had his first daughter, Daisy, shortly followed by Holly in 1992. The family moved to Hebden Bridge in 1993. During this time, he enjoyed trips to the Scarborough seaside with his kids and was incredibly proud of his allotment, for which he was featured in the local paper. In 1996, he traded his rigger boots for a suit and tie, retraining in computing and maths at the University of Huddersfield.
After he divorced in 1999, he moved to Sowerby Bridge, moving in with friends Tom 'Stringlefellow' and 'block paving' Rick and enjoying regular trips to the Puzzle Hall Inn. He loved the outdoors, joining a running club, celebrating the rushbearing and taking walkies on the moors with Nipper, the Border Collie. We should all be grateful that he worked on preventing the Millenium bug at the Halifax and equally proud that he won the Puzzle's New Year's Eve fancy dress competition dressed as the world's tallest, hairiest Lara Croft.
He worked at Yorkshire Water for many years, then set up his own business, Scintillus Consulting in 2000, which won a new business award, but proved to be a nightmare for his tax returns. Never one to stay in the same place too long, Duncan made a big move to Australia in 2014, settling in Adelaide and specialising his work in cyber security. He even persuaded his ever-devoted mum to come out and visit him; she even crossed the crocodile bridge!
Not content with the bad weather and lack of glamour, he moved from Australia to Coventry in 2016 to pursue a PhD in Cybersecurity Management from the University of Coventry. He completed impressive research into trust and data protection and in 2019, he became the third Dr Greaves in the family (though none of them would be any use in a medical emergency).
He continued working in academia, joining the University of Coventry campus in Scarborough, returning to the place he had enjoyed so much on family holidays. In Scarborough, he became an avid sea swimmer, often getting up early to jump into the icy North Sea. He completed impressive work with the European Space Agency, working on their Jupiter's Icy Moons programme and he even took a trip to the Philippines to discuss cyber security with the Philippine Space Agency.
Duncan moved back to Leeds in 2022, playing an integral role in his mother's care as she got older and diagnosed with dementia. He spent many hours back in Menston providing her with multiple cups of tea, fixing odd jobs around the house and answering 'who's that man?' at old film stars on her TV. He followed the Greaves family tradition of teaching at the University of York, where he was given the very fancy title of Senior Fellow of the Higher Education Academy in 2024. In his later years, he found a new sense of love and belonging with his girlfriend Jo, her mum Julie, their fun Pudsey friends and daft dog Ted.
He is survived by his two daughters, one of which followed him into tech and one who used their shared love of good books to become an English teacher. He is also survived by his older brother David, who says he will miss having someone to bully his brother Alan with, and his younger brother, who misses his brother so much, he will even miss the bullying.
Funeral
Duncan's funeral will be held at Rawdon Crematorium (Leeds Rd, Rawdon, Leeds LS19 6JP) at 1pm on 21 February. Following this we will be holding an after-party at a Leeds venue TBC. If you have any questions please email hollykgreaves@gmail.com.
If you are unable to attend the funeral, you can watch the service online. We will add a link to this page closer to the date of the funeral.
We would also appreciate donations to Duncan's favourite charity, the RSPCA (but just for the dogs) - www.rspca.org.uk/getinvolved/donate/online
Gallery
Memory wall
Please post your memories and pictures of Duncan on this page, we will use these for the funeral.
You can also listen and contribute to our Remembering Duncan Spotify playlist here:
You can also listen and contribute to our Remembering Duncan Spotify playlist here:
February 21, 2025
At Guiseley School, Duncan was one of the cooler and funnier kids in our year group. He and Seth were as thick as thieves! His dry humour would often make a mockery of teachers and - to be honest - he could run circles around most of them intellectually!
I didn’t see Duncan for a good many years after sixth form, but decades later, a few of us started to meet up in Menston once a year.
Duncan came along one year (beer!) and instantly worked his way back into our affections. I loved seeing him - his naughty irreverent sense of humour and most excellent geographically incorrect Yorkshire t-shirts created much hilarity.
We met wonderful Jo and it was so clear that they made each other incredibly happy.
Duncan - I feel so blessed to have known you and will miss you enormously. Make sure you wear the t shirt and fly the Yorkshire flag !
I didn’t see Duncan for a good many years after sixth form, but decades later, a few of us started to meet up in Menston once a year.
Duncan came along one year (beer!) and instantly worked his way back into our affections. I loved seeing him - his naughty irreverent sense of humour and most excellent geographically incorrect Yorkshire t-shirts created much hilarity.
We met wonderful Jo and it was so clear that they made each other incredibly happy.
Duncan - I feel so blessed to have known you and will miss you enormously. Make sure you wear the t shirt and fly the Yorkshire flag !
February 20, 2025
Duncan
A big, gorgeous, lovely, friendly guy, with a ready smile and twinkling eyes. I only met Duncan a few times, my darling Alan's big brother, but I will never forget him. He had such a deep aura of kindness, friendliness and humanity. He was love. I feel so lucky to have met someone with such a pure heart.
A big, gorgeous, lovely, friendly guy, with a ready smile and twinkling eyes. I only met Duncan a few times, my darling Alan's big brother, but I will never forget him. He had such a deep aura of kindness, friendliness and humanity. He was love. I feel so lucky to have met someone with such a pure heart.
February 20, 2025
I met Duncan and Diane through Duncan’s younger brother Alan while I was at Leeds Uni in the late 80s/early 90s. I’d been put in a hall of residence room with Val - a local girl - so I got to know and love some of her school friends (Alan & Katie). The 3 of them introduced me to their families, and when Alan introduced me to his brother and girlfriend, Duncan, Diane and I hit it off quickly. I don’t know how I would have got through my degree and then PhD without their friendship. I’ve fond memories of nights at their house, just hanging out and talking about all sorts, I especially remember Daisy & Holly’s young selves and loving how Duncan and Di were so relaxed and fun with their kids. Duncan was, weirdly, the person who told me Kurt Cobain had died. I know it’s not the same as “where were you when you heard about JFK’s assassination?” for our parents generation. But it was definitely a moment for those of us now in our 50s! Duncan, Diane & I had had a night drinking at their house (once the girls were in bed) and I’d crashed there; so when Duncan went down the road for cigarettes and hangover “pop” next morning, he was the person who came back with the newspaper and broke the news. A few years later, neither Duncan nor Alan could make my wedding but Duncan’s girls were there as bridesmaids (along with Diane, of course), and it makes me feel old to realise that it’ll be our silver anniversary 25 years next year - time really does fly! I’m feeling so sad that I hadn’t been in touch with Duncan for ages, but I kept up with news through Alan. There always feels like there will be time to reconnect and suddenly that time has gone. I am sad for all the family and thinking of all those touched by a lovely, smart and fun guy, the world is worse off without him. Lots of love especially to Alan, a very good friend for a very long time, who is doing his brother proud xx
February 20, 2025
They say that when one twin gets injured the other one feels the pain. When we were kids, if Duncan did something naughty I got blamed for it. I therefore realised very early in life that he was far cleverer than I ever would be. The brightest light in a family of Viz-reading academics. David and I both agree that Duncan was always "the clever one". He was also "the handsome one" and "the funny one". We both knew he would breeze through writing a PhD, which had been so hard for us; he just needed to be really, really bored before writing a thesis looked like a fun thing to do!
But Duncan was not just brainy and handsome and funny. He was all heart. Growing up gay in the 1980's amid the perfect storm of discrimination, homophobia and the wall of silence thrown up by Clause 28 was hard but I always knew that Duncan just quietly accepted who I was. It was never discussed, of course, but I could always be myself with him. I remember times when he stood up for me against homophobic comments - it was unthinkingly done: immediate, swift and firm. I also know there were times when I was not there to see it but he'd always got my back. My defender, my hero, my brother.
It was, and is, the honour of my lifetime to have been so warmly welcomed into Duncan's life, and then family, with Dee, Daisy and Holly. The unquestioning and unwavering love that my nieces have shown me throughout their lives and especially in the past month has often been my reason to keep going. Girls, I promise I will always be your defender because if one of you gets injured, the other one feels the pain.
But that pain is worth the love. It is. It's worth it.
But Duncan was not just brainy and handsome and funny. He was all heart. Growing up gay in the 1980's amid the perfect storm of discrimination, homophobia and the wall of silence thrown up by Clause 28 was hard but I always knew that Duncan just quietly accepted who I was. It was never discussed, of course, but I could always be myself with him. I remember times when he stood up for me against homophobic comments - it was unthinkingly done: immediate, swift and firm. I also know there were times when I was not there to see it but he'd always got my back. My defender, my hero, my brother.
It was, and is, the honour of my lifetime to have been so warmly welcomed into Duncan's life, and then family, with Dee, Daisy and Holly. The unquestioning and unwavering love that my nieces have shown me throughout their lives and especially in the past month has often been my reason to keep going. Girls, I promise I will always be your defender because if one of you gets injured, the other one feels the pain.
But that pain is worth the love. It is. It's worth it.
February 19, 2025
My memories of Duncan are limited; our mothers were lifelong friends from an early age at the fire station but both moved away from Hull when we were young. Our families met up from time to time. I recall perhaps my first train ride from Menston to who knows where.
The photo has Pat and Diane with Duncan and my brother Richard holding their teddy bears and “Aunty “Pat holding my baby sister, Ann, at her christening.
Alas I am unable to attend Duncan’s funeral, but my thoughts will be with you all.
The photo has Pat and Diane with Duncan and my brother Richard holding their teddy bears and “Aunty “Pat holding my baby sister, Ann, at her christening.
Alas I am unable to attend Duncan’s funeral, but my thoughts will be with you all.
February 17, 2025
I cemented my friendship with Duncan back in 1986, bonding over our shared passions of drinking beer, eating chips and mushy peas from Menston Chippy and having a laugh. We were both stalled in our academic endeavours, he was cleaning in a local mental hospital by day and we would spend our weekends in the goth nightclubs of Leeds and Bradford.
By the time Seth was back, it was time to relocate, as most of the local hostelries had refused to serve us. I think that Duncan, in full gothic regalia, including a home-made ring-pull necklace, may have been a bit intimidating for some of the locals. Our new place was a poky, damp, back-to-back in Leeds and my strongest memory is of Duncan getting ready for nights out. There was always a bottle of something hideously cheap to drink – like Thunderbird wine or sherry, the crimpers would have been heating up for an hour and there would be dangerous levels of hairspray fumes and cigarette smoke in the air. Then with a cry of ‘Lock up your daughters’, he would be off into the night.
The three of us restarted our education in different cities but we always kept in touch. Duncan was a regular visitor to my student digs in Manchester and letters, postcards, poems and daft drawings were exchanged on a reasonably frequent basis. His missives were rude, funny, warm and a delight to receive.
I have tried to keep up with all Duncan’s different careers and house moves over the intervening years, but some definitely passed me by. In relatively recent times he has graciously hosted in Scarborough, and we have kept in touch by phone. He always gave a proud dad update about how Daisy and Holly were doing and news about ‘Our Dave’, ‘Our Alan’ and his mum.
Duncan, I will miss your laugh, your teasing, your energy, your stories, your kindness and your loyalty. You will always be the hardest working, most skint person I know, and you are the best of friends.
Sending lots of love to all of those who Duncan held dear. xx
By the time Seth was back, it was time to relocate, as most of the local hostelries had refused to serve us. I think that Duncan, in full gothic regalia, including a home-made ring-pull necklace, may have been a bit intimidating for some of the locals. Our new place was a poky, damp, back-to-back in Leeds and my strongest memory is of Duncan getting ready for nights out. There was always a bottle of something hideously cheap to drink – like Thunderbird wine or sherry, the crimpers would have been heating up for an hour and there would be dangerous levels of hairspray fumes and cigarette smoke in the air. Then with a cry of ‘Lock up your daughters’, he would be off into the night.
The three of us restarted our education in different cities but we always kept in touch. Duncan was a regular visitor to my student digs in Manchester and letters, postcards, poems and daft drawings were exchanged on a reasonably frequent basis. His missives were rude, funny, warm and a delight to receive.
I have tried to keep up with all Duncan’s different careers and house moves over the intervening years, but some definitely passed me by. In relatively recent times he has graciously hosted in Scarborough, and we have kept in touch by phone. He always gave a proud dad update about how Daisy and Holly were doing and news about ‘Our Dave’, ‘Our Alan’ and his mum.
Duncan, I will miss your laugh, your teasing, your energy, your stories, your kindness and your loyalty. You will always be the hardest working, most skint person I know, and you are the best of friends.
Sending lots of love to all of those who Duncan held dear. xx
February 16, 2025
Dear Duncan,
We never met or spoke in person, but through the words of your brother, who loves you dearly, I feel as if I knew you. Whenever Alan talked about you, his eyes would light up—he would always describe how intelligent, fun, and full of life you were. He called you his surfer brother in Australia. It’s clear that you were a vibrant and cherished person. In my mind, you have always been someone who knew how to enjoy life.
I wish you peace and light on your journey.
With love.
We never met or spoke in person, but through the words of your brother, who loves you dearly, I feel as if I knew you. Whenever Alan talked about you, his eyes would light up—he would always describe how intelligent, fun, and full of life you were. He called you his surfer brother in Australia. It’s clear that you were a vibrant and cherished person. In my mind, you have always been someone who knew how to enjoy life.
I wish you peace and light on your journey.
With love.
February 16, 2025
Duncan has been part of my life since infant school class at age 5. We went through Menston Juniors then Guiseley School in the same class. I remember playing board games and eating fish fingers at his house when we were little, and then in our early teens sneakily listening to his older brother David’s Ramones and Buzzcocks records.
The quality of teaching at our secondary school was patchy and teachers often left the classroom for extended periods or didn’t turn up at all. At such times, Duncan would entertain the whole class his surreal and sometimes cutting humour, something like Spike Milligan or Vic Reeves but with his own unique energy.
A shared love of abrasive music, crimpers and hairspray took us, along with our dear late friend Ivan and my sister Amy, out to dodgy post-punk clubs in Bradford. We would all drink ourselves into oblivion but at least one of us (usually) managed to look out for the rest, taking it in turns to rescue one another from jammed toilet cubicles or particularly unadvisable romantic assignations on the dance floor. And then share vegetable samosas in the cab back to Menston.
He, Amy, and I all managed to mess up our first attempts at higher education, so we rented a freezing little back-to-back house in Leeds 6 for a year in the mid 80s. (He told us he’d completed a university assignment to produce an engineering drawing of the Tyne Bridge in the early hours of the morning after a night at the pub, using the Scottish and Newcastle brewery’s logo on a bottle of Newcastle Brown as his only source). I remember sitting in our lounge while he cooked in the kitchen: there was no door in the frame so he would dance in and out of view with a flow of songs, jokes and nonsense. Sadly, this was long before mobile phones so no records exist, and I can’t remember anything specific he said or sang, only that it was hilarious and joyous.
With kids and careers at different ends of the country catching up in recent years was often on the phone. His calls would be high speed accounts of his recent activities and those of his family, a barrage of questions about those of me and mine, some jokes, a promise to speak again soon – and then ring off. I’d be quite out of breath.
For all the stories about drunken adventures and his remarkable wit, I loved him as a kind, optimistic, smart and thoughtful friend. In his recent calls it was clear how happy and settled he was with Jo and his new life. I miss him very much.
The quality of teaching at our secondary school was patchy and teachers often left the classroom for extended periods or didn’t turn up at all. At such times, Duncan would entertain the whole class his surreal and sometimes cutting humour, something like Spike Milligan or Vic Reeves but with his own unique energy.
A shared love of abrasive music, crimpers and hairspray took us, along with our dear late friend Ivan and my sister Amy, out to dodgy post-punk clubs in Bradford. We would all drink ourselves into oblivion but at least one of us (usually) managed to look out for the rest, taking it in turns to rescue one another from jammed toilet cubicles or particularly unadvisable romantic assignations on the dance floor. And then share vegetable samosas in the cab back to Menston.
He, Amy, and I all managed to mess up our first attempts at higher education, so we rented a freezing little back-to-back house in Leeds 6 for a year in the mid 80s. (He told us he’d completed a university assignment to produce an engineering drawing of the Tyne Bridge in the early hours of the morning after a night at the pub, using the Scottish and Newcastle brewery’s logo on a bottle of Newcastle Brown as his only source). I remember sitting in our lounge while he cooked in the kitchen: there was no door in the frame so he would dance in and out of view with a flow of songs, jokes and nonsense. Sadly, this was long before mobile phones so no records exist, and I can’t remember anything specific he said or sang, only that it was hilarious and joyous.
With kids and careers at different ends of the country catching up in recent years was often on the phone. His calls would be high speed accounts of his recent activities and those of his family, a barrage of questions about those of me and mine, some jokes, a promise to speak again soon – and then ring off. I’d be quite out of breath.
For all the stories about drunken adventures and his remarkable wit, I loved him as a kind, optimistic, smart and thoughtful friend. In his recent calls it was clear how happy and settled he was with Jo and his new life. I miss him very much.
February 15, 2025
With Daisy, and with Jo Giddings
February 15, 2025
Trip to Bolton Abbey, c.1985
February 15, 2025
1. at school, 2. 3, 4, the goth years, 5 with me and Ivan (my wedding)
February 15, 2025
our house in Leeds 1986, with Amy
February 12, 2025
I met Duncan when studying for my PhD at Coventry University. It was great to meet another northerner and we soon became great friends. Duncan was a very kind and caring man, he was always one to ask after my family (nan, grandad and auntie Louise) who he became good friends with during my birthday party in 2017, particularly because of all the great cakes on offer made by auntie Louise. I will always remember his brilliant ideas and intellect, Duncan was a very clever and knowledgeable man who was always generous to offer his insight when asked. The passing of Duncan came as a big shock to me, as we recently had a catch up in December 2024, he sounded on top of the world with his girlfriend and their planned holidays, and in particular his new hobby to be – line dancing which meant he was on the search for a Stetson. Duncan was a dear friend, and he will be very missed. I hope you are enjoying a cake or two with auntie Louise wherever you are!
January 30, 2025
I’ve been working with Duncan’s mum Pat as a carer for the last five years. One of the first things Pat said to me was ‘I know you aren’t supposed to have favourite children but Duncan’s definitely my favourite’ (sorry David and Alan but I suspect you probably already knew!) I’d heard all kinds of stories from Pat about Duncan some no doubt true, others perhaps fanciful but when I met him he was as warm, kind and funny as I’d imagined. Duncan was brilliant with Pat - they were certainly two peas in a pod. My favourite memory was driving both of them in my tiny Peugeot 207 to Shipley so Duncan could go to the bank with Pat, It was like a family outing and hilarity all the way as every passing landmark seemed to bring a story out of Duncan about a childhood incident. We ended up having tea at Costa and I remember thinking if there was one person who could
out talk Pat it was Duncan. His passing came as a huge shock to myself and all my colleagues at Home Instead. He was very highly thought of by everyone who encountered him and I send my condolences to all his family and friends. He’ll be sorely missed.
out talk Pat it was Duncan. His passing came as a huge shock to myself and all my colleagues at Home Instead. He was very highly thought of by everyone who encountered him and I send my condolences to all his family and friends. He’ll be sorely missed.
January 28, 2025
I met Duncan after I became one of the Care Professionals lucky enough to support Pat. Needless to say we all absolute adore her and I met Duncan many times whilst he was on one of his social calls to visit his mum or when he was doing repairs on the house and running errands. Duncan was absolutely integral to his mum's care and those of us who knew him professionally were all won over by his charisma, wit and charm. Witnessing Duncan and Pat reminiscing about the old days was at times hilarious and sometimes very poignant and they were a real double act. I couldn't quite believe it when I heard the tragic news of his death and I know I'm not alone amongst my colleagues in being deeply affected by his passing. I'll remember him as being just a great guy. God bless him.
Tony
Tony
January 25, 2025
What a lovely man we have lost. I remember Auntie Pat telling me Duncan had been born at 10 a.m. on 4th March 1967, just as I was "bullying off" at a hockey tournament. From around 1970 I used to catch the train after work in Leeds to babysit him, which was easy despite my being only 17. Auntie Pat kept us up to date with his escapades over the years including his work on the oil rigs and his Move into I.T. We maintained our friendship and were able to tempt his away from his flat in Scarborough for a few pints and an Italian meal whenever we were staying overnight. He was always friendly, witty and generous and we were with him when he heard about his Doctorate. We were lucky enough to host him and his lovely partner Jo at our new home in December. They were like two teenagers in love and were planning for the future together. It was a huge shock to hear of his sudden passing and we will miss him terribly. Trips to Scarborough will never be the same. We and our children send our love to all who were fortunate to know him. R.I.P. Duncan xx
January 17, 2025
It's so hard to say goodbye when death comes so horribly prematurely and suddenly. My heart goes out to all Duncan's family and friends. It is lovely to read these memories about him.
He was around 4 when I first met him, I was newly engaged to his Uncle John.
It was a joy and privilege to be an Auntie to the three brothers, to see school photos and be a tiny part of all the boys growing up.
Duncan steadily transformed towards his individual and characterful adult self. It was such fun to see him experimenting along the way.
I do recall enjoying teenage Duncan presenting himself confidently for some of our visits, dressed head to toe in solid black with dyed black hair, black clothes, black boots, (black nail varnish?) all topped by his very slight, very pale, really rather young face. I was so impressed with his complete commitment.
On the outer fringes of his adult life, I sadly hadn't seen Duncan for many a long year but he always had (and still has) a very special place in my heart.
Remembered with love, Auntie Kay
He was around 4 when I first met him, I was newly engaged to his Uncle John.
It was a joy and privilege to be an Auntie to the three brothers, to see school photos and be a tiny part of all the boys growing up.
Duncan steadily transformed towards his individual and characterful adult self. It was such fun to see him experimenting along the way.
I do recall enjoying teenage Duncan presenting himself confidently for some of our visits, dressed head to toe in solid black with dyed black hair, black clothes, black boots, (black nail varnish?) all topped by his very slight, very pale, really rather young face. I was so impressed with his complete commitment.
On the outer fringes of his adult life, I sadly hadn't seen Duncan for many a long year but he always had (and still has) a very special place in my heart.
Remembered with love, Auntie Kay
January 17, 2025
Our parents introduced us in the 70s & I'm pleased to say Duncan & I always got on well. We lost touch after school for a good number of years, living in different parts of the country, but rekindled our friendship when Facebook started. We met on a number of occasions, reminiscing about old times & enjoying a few drinks. I always left Duncans company with a warm, happy feeling and on occasions sightly Tipsy. It was good to meet up briefly on Boxing Day & say hi to Jo also. Duncan, pal, I'll miss you but thankyou for the happy memories you've given me & all those who know you. RIP my friend.
January 16, 2025
My memories of Duncan span many years and all make me smile and grateful to have known him now I recall them. Arguing over who would have the last bit of toast at our house of a school lunchtime; him buying underage me pints in The White Cross and various other establishments; us posing together á la Reservoir Dogs at (I think) Daisy's christening; his love and support for my parents when we lost ar kid; and bumping in to him and Jo last summer in Ilkley a ridiculous three times in the space of about an hour after not having been seen each other for a good few years. I see somone has already posted the pic of Ivan, Duncan, and me in the gallery - circa 1989 I think and clearly all having drink taken. Good times with a lovely kind man. My most sincere condolences to family and loved ones.
January 16, 2025
We first met Duncan in a pub in Horsforth, after he had just met our good friend Jo. This first meeting was a quiet one but he soon proved to be as fun loving and adventurous as she was, always liking a boogie and a bit of karaoke. We know he made her very happy and was indeed her soul mate. Duncan will be missed by all and our love and deepest sympathies are with Jo and Duncan’s family. xx
January 16, 2025
To my dear friend Duncan it was our pleasure to have you in our lives for these past couple of years thank you for bringing so much joy to our best friend Joanne showing her how to love someone again and I know she absolutely loved you and we are all going to miss you so much you were one in a million sleep tight my mate until we meet again ❤️❤️
January 14, 2025
Growing up in Nottingham the Gilby family would travel up to Menston to see grandma and grandad AND the Greaves clan all in one go (with them handily living opposite each other). While teenage Duncan was still living at home, I vividly remember being in the car on each trip up North wondering what gravity defying hairstyle he would be sporting. Often marvelling at how on earth he achieved such impressive hair height and wondering just how he did not bang it on door frames and cause it to fall down or bend?! As adults (although we did not see each other often) it was always wonderful to catch up at family events. Duncan was such a funny and cheerful person to talk to and he was always interested to hear what little cousin Caroline had been up to. He spoke to me so proudly of Holly and Daisy and always expressed what amazing and lovely people they are. Duncan, you will be missed. Sending all my love the to the Greaves family Xx
January 13, 2025
I had my first ever hotdogs and beefburger at Duncans Birthday party. I will always remember it with such fondness.
A great friend so sadly missed way too soon.
A great friend so sadly missed way too soon.
January 12, 2025
Duncan was part of CBiS’s initial big PhD programme expansion, graduating in 2019 with his doctorate. He was a great help in so many ways as we grew and developed our reputation… one of life’s 'good guys', always willing to help us on our journey and to support the PhD programme and the Research Centre’s activities. Duncan was a great mentor and friend to many fellow PhD candidates and to staff in CBiS. This is a big and sad shock. My thoughts are with Duncan’s family. I am so sorry for your loss.
January 10, 2025
I had the pleasure of getting to know and working with Duncan, during his time working in the business intelligence team at GDF in Leeds (now ENGIE).
We hosted the IT secret Santa, I had the part of Santa and Duncan (given his height and build) was the Christmas tree. A great guy, taken far too early
We hosted the IT secret Santa, I had the part of Santa and Duncan (given his height and build) was the Christmas tree. A great guy, taken far too early
January 10, 2025
I first met Duncan while he was at Coventry University, I would make him his morning, afternoon, anytime of the day coffee ( he always said i made the best coffee). My first thought was jeez he is tall, much like everyone else's I guess. We got to know each other a little whilst I was making his drinks, and it turns out he was a romantic gentle giant, who would help anyone and everyone when he could. With my sons he was patient, especially as he knew them when they were at one of their more irritating phases. He was one of only a few people who actually believed on me and when I said i wanted to take up studying my self, he encouraged me all the way. He could not have been any prouder, and the letters back and forth while he was away was further proof of how he felt. Even after he went to Scarborough and back to Leeds, if I needed any advice for either myself or my youngest with applications for university he did not hesitate to help. To know Duncan was to love and be loved by him. He will be missed.
January 9, 2025
Although we divorced many years ago, Duncan never left my life thanks to our wonderful girls, Daisy and Holly. As people, we not only had our girls, but also still maintained similar interests and could happily talk to each other on a range of topics, from music to books. When I think back on our time together, although there were difficult times, we also had a lot of fun and happy times and I will never regret our relationship and the times we had together.
When we got together, we were very young and foolish. We had a shared love of all the things goth and spent of a lot of happy hours in the dingy nightclubs of Leeds, watching gigs and listening to the gloomy, but glorious sounds of the Sisters of Mercy and Siouxsie and the Banshees. Going from the heady days of carefree fun to real work and being a family was a challenge and I will always remember telling his eventual boss at Halliburton why he really needed to give Duncan a chance, when they were ringing to tell him that he hadn’t got the job and ended up getting me on the other end of the phone instead, arguing the toss. I was always his biggest cheerleader, especially when he couldn’t be his own. He was always the cleverest man I knew, and he was also a great bloke who just needed a chance.
We did have our times when we didn’t talk as much as I would have liked, and I missed him being in our lives. The things that created a wedge were sometimes of my making and sometimes from him, but they were never insurmountable and helpfully will be lost in the annals of time.
One thing I am very happy about is that he eventually found happiness and being with Jo did him a lot of good. It is a shame that this happiness was not destined to last for longer. Jo helped him with connecting with Daisy and Holly on a more regular basis and I was very happy about that, and I was very grateful to her for including them in their world and happiness.
I can never fault him in his care with his mum, who I also love dearly. He was so patient with her and was always there when she needed him. He was also one of the few people in the world who got on well with my mother and she thought a lot of him, again something that didn’t happen often. I will never forget how kind he was after mum died and that means a lot to me.
I hope he is , right now, having a pint of Guiness with my old dad.
When we got together, we were very young and foolish. We had a shared love of all the things goth and spent of a lot of happy hours in the dingy nightclubs of Leeds, watching gigs and listening to the gloomy, but glorious sounds of the Sisters of Mercy and Siouxsie and the Banshees. Going from the heady days of carefree fun to real work and being a family was a challenge and I will always remember telling his eventual boss at Halliburton why he really needed to give Duncan a chance, when they were ringing to tell him that he hadn’t got the job and ended up getting me on the other end of the phone instead, arguing the toss. I was always his biggest cheerleader, especially when he couldn’t be his own. He was always the cleverest man I knew, and he was also a great bloke who just needed a chance.
We did have our times when we didn’t talk as much as I would have liked, and I missed him being in our lives. The things that created a wedge were sometimes of my making and sometimes from him, but they were never insurmountable and helpfully will be lost in the annals of time.
One thing I am very happy about is that he eventually found happiness and being with Jo did him a lot of good. It is a shame that this happiness was not destined to last for longer. Jo helped him with connecting with Daisy and Holly on a more regular basis and I was very happy about that, and I was very grateful to her for including them in their world and happiness.
I can never fault him in his care with his mum, who I also love dearly. He was so patient with her and was always there when she needed him. He was also one of the few people in the world who got on well with my mother and she thought a lot of him, again something that didn’t happen often. I will never forget how kind he was after mum died and that means a lot to me.
I hope he is , right now, having a pint of Guiness with my old dad.
January 9, 2025
I first met Duncan in 1999, when he moved into my house in Sowerby Bridge and quickly slotted in to my group of pals. Duncan was a perfect combination of sensible/responsible but also entertaining and fun, so was an ideal housemate.
At the time he seemed much older and wiser than me and my friends, who weren’t really long out of school – while Duncan had 2 young children, and already many tales of global travel and work on oil rigs.
We all gradually moved on, but kept in touch, and it was always great to catch up with Duncan on his return visits to Sowerby Bridge. His warm affable nature was always welcome and he would invariably have many interesting stories to tell.
It’s very hard to think we won’t see him again, I will remember him very fondly as a positive influence during a time when I was just finding my feet in life. My thoughts are with Jo, Holly, Daisy, Alan and the rest of Duncan’s family.
At the time he seemed much older and wiser than me and my friends, who weren’t really long out of school – while Duncan had 2 young children, and already many tales of global travel and work on oil rigs.
We all gradually moved on, but kept in touch, and it was always great to catch up with Duncan on his return visits to Sowerby Bridge. His warm affable nature was always welcome and he would invariably have many interesting stories to tell.
It’s very hard to think we won’t see him again, I will remember him very fondly as a positive influence during a time when I was just finding my feet in life. My thoughts are with Jo, Holly, Daisy, Alan and the rest of Duncan’s family.
January 8, 2025
I will always have fond memores of Uncle Duncan. As a child I often found adults intimidating, but not Duncan. He had a gentle warmth about him, approachable, kind, friendly & genuine. I was fascinated by his job working on oil rigs and also remember finding it hilarious to watch him try and fold his tall body into a tiny car!!! The last time we met was bumping into each other in Halifax. I was so happy to see him - he had a big beaming smile when he saw me & we had a lovely chat. He is survived by my beautiful cousins. As a child I could clearly see the love he had for his girls. I have lovely memories of him playing with them when they were small. My heart felt condolences go out to them.
January 8, 2025
Always the centre of fun whenever we got together. Incredibly kind, ridiculously witty… You made us laugh until we cried, just sharing stories and reminiscing. we’ve closed many a bar
Thank you for the laughs, thank you for the memories and most of all thank you for the friendship of 50+ years
I will miss you terribly♥️
Thank you for the laughs, thank you for the memories and most of all thank you for the friendship of 50+ years
I will miss you terribly♥️
January 8, 2025
How do you summarise such a significant part of your life in such few words? I remember Dad would always say, “if you’re bored, read a book”. And here I am, in my sixth year of teaching English. Dad was always so modest in his intellect, and always instilled a love of learning in my sister and I. Alongside that, he was such a charismatic person and had a magnetic effect on others. I always wished that he recognised how deeply respected he was by others. I am eternally thankful for the sense of home he found in his partner Jo, and it brings me comfort to know the happiness she brought him in the late stages of his life. I also know how deeply he cared for my Grandma, who thankfully is not able to process this tragic news due to her deteriorating health. I cannot articulate how much of a loss this will be for me, but I will always cherish the precious memories we had together; and will be forever grateful I got to call him my Dad.
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