Dhanbai Ravji Halai

When I was younger, baa used to pick me up from school and we would go on a long bus ride home. Though it was more than an hour, we would have fun conversation and share snacks like chocolate and crisps. Obviously not cheese and onion though! I think about it a lot and have many other fond memories like this with her as I’m sure many others of us do and we will keep them for a lifetime.

Nani gave me my mara when I was little, which I still have, and I always kept it under my pillow when I went to sleep because she said that as long as it was there, I wouldn’t have nightmares, only good dreams.

Dreams became a running theme in her last few weeks. Every evening, when I said goodnight to her, I used to tell her to have meetha sapna. I started saying it all the time, whenever she looked a bit sleepy, just to make sure every sleep was a good one, and it eventually became a joke that we all started saying to each other. Those were the last words I ever said to Nani, so I hope she’s having the best meetha sapna now, wherever she is.

Namaste, Jay Shree Swaminarayan, Jay Shree Krishna

From the eldest grandchild to the youngest child, the favourite and chaglo!

For those who don’t know, my name is Jitesh and I am the youngest of the four children.

I did not get to know mum till later in life. I left Kenya in 1985 at the age of 11 to come to the UK to study. Communication was through the odd call or letters. Back in those days there was no WhatsApp or FaceTime! So I only really started to get to know mum 15 years later from the year 2000. Dad had passed away in February that year, and mum moved from Portugal to come and live with us.

Over time I got to know her as a quiet, deeply caring person and one who had lived a rich life with many stories to tell. She was a go to person about our rites and rituals. Educating us as well as others through her knowledge, and guiding us on living a balanced life with family, religion and culture at the centre. I was always moved by her stories of our father from the early days and the many challenges they had faced. I got the impression that together they could face any challenge.

She was always an active person, from her gardening and growing veggies to going to the local markets on the buses. So it did come as a surprise when her health issues started in May 2023, after she returned from the Bhuj Jagan in India. She complained of gastric issues and over 5 months many tests were done, but no root cause could be found. In October 23, Doctors recommended a Brain scan and to our dismay they found two tumours. This led to the first operation in Jan this year to release pressure in her brain and a second, in April to extract a sample of the tumour. The results pointed to a rare form of cancer not normally found in adults. In June radiotherapy treatment was given but failed to control the growth and chemotherapy was deemed too dangerous because of her fragile state. Still wanting to be independent, she used a zimmer frame to get around the house and be as mobil as she could.

About 3 weeks ago, things took a turn for the worse. She could not stand with the Zimmer frame and doctors concluded that the growing tumor was affecting her movement. From then on her health deteriorated rapidly and at 2.55 pm on October 30 at home, surrounded by her family, mum drew her last breath.

These last 18 months have been a difficult time for mum and for us and we would not have got through this without support. My brother Gunvant and I, are eternally grateful to mums sisters and brothers, our macis and mamas. Thank you for always being there for her and for supporting us over the difficult last few weeks and months.

Our thanks also to St Luke’s hospice who have been extremely helpful, especially Andy, who helped us ensure mum was as comfortable as possible at home during her last few weeks.

To the ladies of our house, Tarla Bhabhi, Hira, Divya - the constant up and down, taking her to appointments, providing mum with healthy lunches and to keep encouraging her to eat and do her physio. It can’t have been easy leaving your homes, your children to do this. Thank you. BTW - feel free to continue with the tiffin service, and you won’t have to encourage me to eat!

Thanks also to Hitesh and Hiten our brothers in law, we really appreciate your guidance and support. Though I’m not sure you can use the excuse, I’m going to tell mum, when your wives misbehave!

Thanks also the grandkids - you played your part wonderfully well from granny sitting to help prepare for the various ceremonies.

Lastly, a heartfelt thanks from my children and me to my life partner, Varsha. Living with mum and seeing her health deteriorate day by day and caring for her was emotionally difficult. We could not have got through this without your dedication to mum as well as you supporting us. You fulfilled your duties as a mother, a wife, a daughter in law and carer admirably. You are our superhero.

With that I come to the end of my speech.
Amari Kai Bhul thaigay whoi to am nay mafi dejo. We ask for forgiveness if we have made any mistakes.
Amari mum Tarafti, eni Kai bhul thai gay whoi to emna mate mafi magi chiye. On behalf of mum I ask for forgiveness for any wrong doing

Mum - Amari Kai bhul they gay whoi to amne shame Karjo

Thank you for joining us to say farewell to our beloved mother, Dhanbai Ravji Naran.
We will forever remember her gentle smile and her quiet nature - as her brothers described her.

Sav ne Pranam, Jay Swaminarayan, Jay Shree Krishna

Stages of mums life which she dutifully fulfilled with a smile and unconditional love❤️.
Daughter, sister, daughter in law, wife, sister in law, mother, mother in law, grandmother and a friend to those who came in contact.

Few of her many traits…
Her cooking and artistic skills knew no boundaries. Started in Mombasa Kenya when she got involved in prasad making for thakarthali and when she completed radhakrishna hindolo with circ 5000 small beads. She used to get involved in lots of activities and art/cooking competitions and always willing to share her ideas and wisdom.

One of the memories which my sister and I share is learning cheshta..
Around 40yrs ago mum made us sing chesta religiously and look at the irony, the day before she passes away me and hira re-lived that memory and sang the full chesta.

Her last teachings were invaluable. She said and I quote…
No one asks for illnesses … we all go through those phases and if we stay together and have faith we can overcome anything. 😘

It has been a blessing to be her daughters
Hira and Divya

Living with baa allowed me to have so many special memories with her to choose from, but here is one of my favourite:

I will never forget how baa and vijyabaa would always plan their outings to harrow market or wembley so that they could bring ria and i with them and they always knew we would beg to go back to eachothers houses and to buy some snack for the way, which we always ended up doing.

i will always be grateful that baa was able to watch me grow up and the time i spent with her was priceless.

i hope i can make you happy and proud of me as you look down and guide me on the best possible path.

I am the oldest grandchild of the family and I can honestly say it has been an honour to carry that role and to grow up with a kind, strong, generous woman like my nani in my life. Being the oldest means I have had the privilege of seeing all the grandkids born and grow up. Nani, I see your qualities in each of us. Ruhi has your intelligence and logic and Ashna, your ability to manage lots of tasks effortlessly. You always told us to push ourselves and work hard and through that, Neha is extremely ambitious and hard working. Like you, Urmi is always smiling and spreading warmth and I see your humour and wit through Khayal. Param carries your calmness and charismatic energy. Shivani is the epitome of insightfulness and resilience and Urvi a clear reflection of your spirituality. I definitely have Nani’s strong mind and ability to stand up for what I believe in. All of these qualities are spread across 9 of us, yet they were all contained within one woman, showing just how remarkable she was. Nani, you have left behind a truly powerful legacy and as we continue with our lives, we will do so with your qualities shining through us.

I speak on behalf of myself and the whole group of grandkids beside me when I say we have felt so lucky to have the baa/nani that we had. My nani used to look after me every day after school and those are some of my favourite memories; I really got into watching serials on zee tv. We also watched game shows like the weakest link even though she probably couldn’t understand most of it. Although I didn’t know the majority of the answers, she would tell me that one day I’d be smart enough to know them all. That probably never actually happened but it’s the thought that counts. Fast forward some years when I was going to university and she cooked a huge stack of thepla for me to fill my freezer with. Anything we asked for, she would find a way to make it happen for us and that’s what makes her the best nani/baa we could have wished for.

In these last few weeks, the family has come together in a way that I know nani would be proud of. We thank our parents for the strength they have shown as it meant we haven’t felt scared through this whole process. The kids have come together to share stories, which you’ve heard through their speeches, and this has kept us laughing and celebrating her life. Whilst these past few weeks have of course, been sad and difficult, we are reminded that she lived a full life and that should definitely be celebrated. Through all of this, we’ve shown what a strong family unit we are and I know nani would have felt that love and devotion as we surrounded her in her final days. These full-circle moments of caring for her, just as she once cared for us, holds great significance and will forever remain etched in our memories.

Nani, I promise to continue guiding the kids like you always expected me to and to support the whole family in every way I can. I promise to keep working hard and striving to help others through my work. I promise to carry your memory with me everywhere I go and through everything I do. I am so grateful that you have seen my achievements so far and wish you could stay to see what is still to come. However, I know you are with nana in akshardham now, exactly where you belong and what you devoted your whole life to achieving. I hope I have shown you how special you are to me and made you proud through the 29 beautiful years I have had with you. I feel honoured to have spent your last week with you and to have been with you as you took your final breaths. With every future milestone and every special moment in my life, I will hold you in my heart. Nani, I will never stop missing you and I will love you forever. Jay shree swaminarayan.

Thank you Nani, for everything you have done for me, including thinking of me whenever you made ladva, and always giving me a supply to take with me to university. I used to save them so I wouldn’t run out before I came back home, and my mum would keep telling me to finish them before they went bad, but I think your food was just too good to go bad!

You have taught us all so many things throughout our lives. Not even two months ago, you taught me how to make chaas. It was actually really easy, but I still wouldn’t know if it wasn’t for you.

During the week before you passed, when we were at your house everyday, we each filled a page in the Mantra Pothi. My one page turned into twenty. There aren’t many other people who could motivate me to write Jay Shree Swaminarayan over 1000 times in Gujarati, and I think that shows just how big of an impact you had on me.

Now, we will see you in every plant that we water, and every well-tended garden that we walk through. We will all cherish every single moment we spent with you, and I will always be eternally grateful that I got to hold your hand one last time before they took you away. Words cannot express how inspired I am by your strength, and how proud I am to call you my Nani. <3