Derek Remegius D'Souza
Obituary
Derek Remegius D’Souza died peacefully with his family by his side on 28 April 2024 at The Bridge Neurological Care Centre in Middlesbrough, following a month at the James Cook Hospital in Middlesbrough being treated for complications of a drug-resistant UTI. Derek’s problems began in February of 2022 with the sudden onset of Tuberculous Meningitis resulting in an acquired brain injury, for which he was treated at Castle Hill Hospital in Hull and York City Hospital before being transferred in January 2023 to The Bridge for possible rehabilitation.
Born in Karachi, Pakistan into a Catholic family originating from Goa, a former Portuguese colony in India, Derek was the youngest of seven children, his elder siblings being Sylvia, Efremia (Effie), Emanuel (Mannie), Achilles (Archie), Thecla and Doreen. After attending St Patrick’s School and College where he attained a BA in Commerce, Derek soon had the urge to travel and, en route to America, stopped off in Rome to visit his priest brother, Father Archie D’Souza. The USA was quickly forgotten as his passion for Rome and all things Italian grew. Learning to speak Italian, he worked at various jobs including as a photographer’s assistant working on projects which took him as far away as Libya, and made many friends, both Italian and of various expat nationalities including Australian, Irish and English frequenters of the Fiddler’s Elbow pub, of which he spoke often with fond memories. Of this period, Derek had always provided loose hints and tales of covert escapades carried out on behalf of the US Government… but it was never clear how tall the tales were, and where the truth began, and ended! After 9 years living in Rome and travelling extensively throughout Italy, Derek was offered the chance to go to work in Mogadishu, Somalia, as an Accountant/Administrator at the Somali Hellenic Shipping Company, a Greek-owned company which exported livestock from Somalia to the Arab States.
In 1979, Derek met his future English wife, Kay, who had relocated from Geneva to Mogadishu as part of a Red Cross delegation. Marriage followed in 1983 as did two beautiful children – Dominic in 1985 and Francesca in 1987. Life continued in Mogadishu where Derek, in his spare time, threw himself into Friday morning activities of either his beloved cricket, playing for the international expat team against the Pakistan expat team or spending time at the Mogadishu Golf Club where he usually won the prize for the ‘longest drive’ in competitions and spent many hours regaling his fellow competitors with stories and jokes. Indeed, Derek could always be relied upon to engage in conversation and he would often choose to be ‘the devil’s advocate’ just to get a lagging discussion animated. He was very well known and popular amongst the international expat community as well as the local Somali people.
There was also time for work, especially with the new Somali Hellenic venture with the Ministry of Tourism to open a Somali Duty Free Shop selling, much to the delight of the expat community, alcohol, tobacco, perfume and ‘foreign delicacies’ not available locally. Derek revelled in this and, engaged in managing the stocking and running of the shop, as well as the accounting, he was possibly taken back to the days of the family business in Karachi – the Sindh Wine Store.
Things changed in 1990. After a holiday in the USA and Canada, following advice to leave the family behind in York, England, where they had now bought a house, Derek returned to Somalia alone in September 1990 saying he would return at Christmas. However, subsequent to initial warnings, severe civil unrest broke out in Mogadishu, with warlords and local militia infighting threatening the stability of the region. Derek and others took shelter at the British Embassy before being transferred to the US Embassy and airlifted by American military helicopters onto the USS Guam for a voyage by sea to Oman for flights home. Derek arrived in mid-January 1991 to the tranquil safety of York. He really loved York, but this didn’t stop him from seeking out other ‘hot spots’ taking on overseas contracts with Support Services International in Croatia, Zambia and again back in Mogadishu, but this time based at the airport with the international delegation and not venturing into the chaos of the town.
Back in York, Derek worked for several companies throughout the years as the children attended school. He adapted to the slower pace of the English lifestyle, and enjoyed attending horse-racing at York Races as well as cricket matches at Headingley, Leeds. There was much to say and comment on as the world moved and the media reported it. Indeed, Derek would have been enthralled with all that happened politically both in the UK and throughout the world since the onset of his illness at the beginning of 2022. His interest in and vast knowledge of the international political scene would have kept him glued to the media reporting from all sides.
Although Kay and Derek lived separately from 2015, they remained very good friends speaking daily and taking trips out in the UK and to Italy together. In 2016, he travelled to Australia to visit his sisters and their families and to meet up with Dominic, before carrying on to China to visit Francesca who was working in Shanghai and to meet Greg (who later became Francesca’s husband).
In 2020 Covid interfered with a planned trip to the USA for Francesca’s wedding which instead took place virtually. Being classed as ‘vulnerable’ due to various health issues, Derek coped well in lockdown going out for very early morning walks, making friends, as was his wont, with the dog walkers on York Racecourse …at the required distance.
Derek’s sudden hospitalisation in February 2022 meant that he missed out on the birth of his granddaughters, Elodie born the same month and then her sister, Felicity, born in December 2023. Even though there were bright sparks and moments of genuine humour and understanding, his condition did not allow him to have the full engagement with them that he would have loved to have had.
Saddened as we all are that Derek is no longer with us, we believe that he is now at peace and relieved from the frustrations of not being able to be the person that he was, or wanted to be - the Derek that we knew and loved.
Derek is pre-deceased by his siblings Mannie, Archie and Sylvia and survived by his wife, Kay, children Dominic and Francesca (Greg), grandchildren Elodie and Felicity and his sisters Effie, Thecla (Len) and Doreen.
Derek’s whole family would like to pay tribute to all the staff, especially the Nurses and Health Care Assistants on Newport Ward, at The Bridge in Middlesbrough who cared for Derek with affection, friendship and respect throughout his stay there until the moment he left us.
Gallery
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Memory wall
He bought me a Walkman ( a portable cassette player ) when they first came out. He was a very generous and outspoken person, and had a good sense of humour, and we enjoyed his time with us. . Mum and dad met up with Derek and Kay in York to visit York in England to see him.
We have good memories of Uncle Derek, and will cherish the good moments we shared together. Rest in peace uncle Derek. Until we meet again.
We would like to thank Kay and Dominic for keeping in touch with us over the last 2 years over Derek’s health.
From Lester(nephew), Beulah, Mum Thecla (sister), Len.
Sydney, Australia
I only met him once, but Derek left a deep impression on me, and I was kept up to date with his later years through my correspondence with Kay, with whom I worked at Inntravel. That evening we spent – at a lovely dinner party at the family home in York – was full of good company, stories, laughter and wonderful food; and Derek, of course, was larger than life. We chatted about cricket, politics, whisky and doubtless much more besides.
Sitting and looking all these gallery photos via the 'slideshow' was an amazing experience. You have done such a great job of bringing to life all the many and various facets of Derek's life, and through these pictures it's easy to get a true sense of his character: gregarious, mischievous, loving, adventurous, sporty, passionate... And as well as all of these things, he was strikingly handsome and clearly loved by all who came into contact with him. What a fabulous tribute to a truly extraordinary man.
Thanks for sharing this with us. Much love to Kay, Dominic, Francesca and all the family.
thankful for the eventual outcome. Derek is FINALLY at peace…….
What a prolonged rollercoaster it has been for Kay, Dominic & Francesca!
But God bless them, they hung in there and kept hope alive. Derek could not have asked for a more caring, loving family and deep down he was aware of that even though he couldn’t express himself in words. I am very grateful and appreciate all you did for Derek, including putting together this beautiful memorial in his honor. There were some parts of his life that I wasn’t even aware of and it has been such an eye opener for me. Loved the great selection of pics!
Peter & I had the very good fortune of seeing Derek and spending two days with him just 3 months before he was taken into hospital. Those memories will forever be treasured. He was in good spirits and we were amazed at how fit he was and all the walking he was capable of. He was our “free” & knowledgeable guide who insisted we keep walking despite the cold & rain :(
His words…. “a small brolly is all you need” Yea right Derek!
God spared you moving to a new facility…. The Bridge was your haven and the love & care you received there was a blessing. Rest in Peace dear Derek, you will be missed 🙏🏽
With our deepest sympathies,
Sabrina Pereira (niece) and
family - Peter, Rachel, Rebecca & Jason
One of the last photos he shared with us is attached-
As the warm tributes on this site show, Derek lived his life to the fullest, took risks & had adventures but is remembered for his strong connections with people right until the end. Vale Derek.
Deirdre (Diddy), Ian, Nick & Sophia Newton
Derek left Karachi when I was little, but my mom often shared stories of his young days.I remember connecting with Derek and Kay in 1986/87 when they visited Karachi. Before his illness, he would often reach out to me via WhatsApp and phone calls, He was always well-informed about ‘world news’ and politics and would tell me what was happening in Vancouver before I knew it.
Derek will be deeply missed. Our condolences to Kay, Dominic, Francesca, and Family. Rest in peace, Derek.
Derek was three years younger than I and our lives were busy with school and college.
I fondly remember March 1975, when Karl and I spent two wonderful weeks in Rome on our way to join Malcolm in Canada. Those days spent with Derek and our brother, Fr. Archie, were truly special.
Derek’s visit to us in Quebec remains vivid in my memory, especially seeing how well he and Malcolm got along. In 1983, he brought Kay to meet my family, and it was heartwarming to see how they fit right in. September 1990 marked a milestone when all seven siblings reunited in Canada—a gathering I’ll always cherish.
In 2007 , Derek’s surprise visit to Sylvie and Simon for their 50th anniversary was a testament to his thoughtfulness. His hilarious speech that night brought joy to everyone. The last time I saw Derek was in 2016 when Effie, Derek, and I enjoyed a holiday in Scotland together. Those moments are precious to me.
Derek was a pillar of support during my health challenges, always offering comforting advice. His last text to me on January 9, 2022, still rings in my heart: “Enjoy your day! Have a glass of wine.
Cheers, Derek.”
His warmth, humor, and kindness will be deeply missed.
May he rest in peace
Beth xx
Derek was my mum’s (Sylvie) youngest brother. Growing up as a child in Karachi, I remember he worked across the street in my grandpa’s store and would come to visit us for lunch that my mum would prepare for him. He kept us all amused with his jokes and interesting stories.
Derek loved conversation, had a winning smile and always won the hearts of all he met with his views on anything and everything. He had an outgoing personality and was always sociable.
Over the years, we met him on his visits to Canada, and have special memories of the white “cowboy hat” he wore.
He was knowledgeable about world events. We would connect on FB and have discussions on politics, religion and family, until his illness prevented him communicating with us.
To Kay, Dominic, Francesca and Greg, our deepest sympathies. Thank you for keeping us updated during Derek’s illness. May you find comfort in the memories of all the special times you shared together, as evident in the pictures on this website. Such beautiful memories of Derek’s life.
May Derek’s soul rest in peace.
He was a bright boy and did well at his studies at school and college.
Always good at words , he managed to negotiate pocket money out of my hard earned.first job pay packet to get a few comic books.
In the last 40years or so, we lived on the other side of the world from each other. I was lucky to spend many happy times with Derek and his family on visits to York, holidaying with him and my sister Doreen in Scotland, and celebrating special family occasions all around the globe.
In fact, Derek was the surprise guest at my 80th birthday celebration,
when he visited Australia with his son Dominic in 2015. Of course he was the life of the party, charming all ,my friends and family and entertaining everyone with stories and yarns!
Even though we were so far.apart, we were in constant touch with each other on email or phone calls until the sudden onset of his
illness.
Rest in Peace dear brother Derek 🙏 you lived your life to the full!
I miss you Dad.
And, as ever
I miss you telling me not to miss you
Just because I said I miss you.
Visiting him during his illness was heartbreaking because his illness, it seemed to me, denied him the opportunity to simply be himself.
I take comfort from the thoughts of the staff at the Bridge posted here as there must have been times during that long illness that the real Derek managed to shine through.
“Ciao, Derek. We enjoyed the election and the presidential farce on your behalf!!”
No day was ever the same with Derek. He was a very intelligent man who also had a sense of humour at time's.
He had nickname's for most of us mine was red ( due to the redness of my hair).
I can say we will never meet a character like Derek a lovely man who will be missed by us all
Tracy x
Never be a thought away xxxxx
Condolences to Kay and family god bless you all. xxxxx
Family tree
1893-1974
1952
1932-2020
1935
1987
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1939-2004
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1932-2020
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1943
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1987
1985
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You are invited to discover, to rediscover, to reminisce, and to reconnect.
Kay, Dominic and Francesca
The song that is linked to the site is ‘So Begins the Task,’ by Stephen Stills.
The audio can be listened to at anytime and there is a play / pause button on the left hand side of the page. Ensure your volume is not set to mute. The song is on a loop and will replay after finishing but can be paused at any stage.
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