In honor of a life that left footprints of love.
Obituary
On June 17th 2024 Daryl Genevieve Fenio passed away after an 11 month battle with cancer. She is survived by her Husband, Raymond Fenio, her daughters: Jamie Bruner, Nicole Gilliand, Leslie Fenio and her sons: Joshua Fenio, Donald Fenio, Garrett Fenio, and step son Will Fenio.
Daryl was born, and rightfully so, on one of the most momentous days in the 20th century; November 25 1963 the same day President John F. Kennedy was laid to rest. Daryl was the daughter of Marlene King Rowley and Gerry Arthur Horstkotte jr. She was the youngest of six sisters which is related to her unusual name. Having a traditional male name was often the subject of conversation. Daryl suspected her father, who always wanted a boy, named his youngest daughter, ‘Daryl’. Her father may have had a premonition or as some people believe, we inhabit our given name which often affects our lives what ever it be, Daryl was the tomboy of the family, willing to get dirty, seldom wearing makeup and her femininity never slowed her in any challenge she encountered. As a first grader she got into trouble for hitting a boy and making him cry. His mistake was to bully and hit her older sister. She was very competitive and a good athlete. She enjoyed all sports but her mother encouraged her to play tennis. When she entered IU, undaunted as always, she spoke to the tennis coach but upon learning she had 5 children said the time commitment was unrealistic regardless her tennis ability.
She met Ray Fenio the summer of 1990. Ray was a National Park Ranger near Kettle Falls, Washington. Daryl was a 27 year old mother of 5 children. They met at a picnic. Daryl was at the picnic with all five children in tow. Ray was immediately smitten and proposed within a couple months and they were married the following year in British Columbia near the town of Nelson at Gibson Lake in Kokanee Provincial Park —he was forever devoted to her. The family moved to Ray’s home state of Indiana where he entered the Phd program in Anthropology at Indiana University-Bloomington. Daryl enrolled to finish her undergraduate degree. One can hardly imagine a more enthusiastic and loyal IU fan especially hoosier basketball. She liked science and math and studied biology and chemistry. Initially, she foresaw a career as a research biologist but discovered during her studies that working in a laboratory was not for her. During this time her father died and though he was a successful engineer he regretted not going to medical school and becoming a physician. His death and dream influenced Daryl’s decision to apply to medical school.
Upon graduating and after giving birth to her youngest daughter during her undergraduate studies she entered IU medical school. Daryl had a rare ability to focus. She could sit on the couch and study in the midst of the chaos that goes with living in a small house with 6 young children. After finishing Medical School at Indiana University Daryl did her residency at the University of Utah becoming a chief resident in the anesthesia program. After residency the family moved to Reno Nevada where she worked as an anesthesiologist for 20 years. She was active in the management of ‘Associated Anesthesiologists’ and considered competent and hardworking by her colleagues.
As a physician she always held patient care paramount. In the spring of 2020 during the covid outbreak she volunteered to go to New Jersey for 5 weeks and help with extremely ill covid patients who were on ventilators. Daryl aggressively attempted to get them off the ventilators knowing that was key to their recovery and though most died she was able to get a few off the ‘vent’ and out of the hospital.
Daryl’s trip to New Jersey was nothing new. Whether at a rock concert when some woman yells out a few rows behind us that her husband is having a problem and collapsing, or on an airplane when the pilot asks over the intercom if there is a doctor on the plane because a passenger is in medical crisis, or in a park when a woman yells for help because her husband who is a diabetic is crashing or a serious auto accident that occurs a few hundred yards ahead on the highway with possible injuries or when a fellow physician was injured by a shotgun blast by a gunman at an adjacent building to the hospital Daryl immediately responded — Daryl always responded to these incidents and others without hesitation. She would immediately run to help.
Daryl’s family and friends considered her a remarkable person. She was opinionated, outspoken and willing to argue and always undaunted in standing up for, what she considered, the right cause, Most people who met her appreciated her which is evidenced in the large number of friends she had. She was a kind and generous to a fault. Her love for her children and husband never wavered. The family considered her the best mother and wife being both the emotional and vital center of the family — her extraordinary energy was contagious. She is and will be forever
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Dearest Daryl,
What I love about you.
I love your energy and compassion.
I love that when Im ranting which, is often and you can't take much more you will say in your serious tone- 'Raymond'- followed by a directive 'stop' or ' be quiet' – I acquiesce.
I love it when you reach over in bed just to touch me or hold my hand. I love that you are so affectionate. I love that 95% of the time we enjoy the same things and activities - such as food, movies, music, vacation destinations, furniture, architecture and art .
I love that you will, with a serious solution in mind, jump into the middle of any problem that arises. I love that you have an opinion on everthing but are willing to change your mind if persuaded.
On more than one occasion you crawled under a car in your skirt to see what a problem might be. Often you are right in your solution. But even when you are wrong you are so very confident – I love that too.
I love that you are a tomboy yet very feminine.
I love that you are tough and yet I see your vulnerabilities.
I love how independent you are yet considerate of others – never selfish.
I love that we tolerate those things that annoy each other – you could never seem to put the cap on the toothpaste tube and I cannot seem to keep chaos from surrounding me and I admit you tolerate more of my shortcomings.
You are my Wife and most I love that we are best friends and lovers
I love that even when disagreeing we never demean , humiliate and more importantly are never dismissive of each other.
I love that in 33 years We seldom became angry with each other and maybe once or twice went to sleep upset with each other.
I especially love that each of us quickly apologize to the other when realizing we are at fault.
I love that you never take yourself too seriously and can laugh at yourself and uncomfortable when bragging about your accomplishment.
I love listening to your stories – you are a great storyteller usually funny and always entertaining.
When you want something even, when I do not agree, I almost always give in – and you get your way. I love that when you firmly say “no” that I can usually persuade you and with a little coaxing you will say yes – with the exception of me getting a motorcycle.
I love that we always felt lucky to have found each other.
I love that we always support each other and will sacrifice our egos for our relationship.
I love that we feel our relationship is paramount and nothing will come between us. – We are of two souls but one spirit.
You are my wife, my lover and most importantly – my best friend.
Basically, I love everything about you – you make me a better person.
In closing, I am heartbroken to lose you. I miss you but will never forget you. I want to believe that beyond these voices there is a place where we will be re-united.
Love
Ray
Mom was a natural leader, she led by example and she did it well. She always stood up for what was right and never looked down on those who had less. She had had less. She wouldn't turn her back on a person, or a challenge. She had been challenged. She encouraged those who needed help or lost their way because she had found hers.
I always thought we were so different. She was couragous.
And at times when I was young, I was embarrassed that she wasn't like the other moms. Mom would often show up with her hair a mess, or in scrubs and she certainly didn't have cupcakes for the class. She wasn't like them. Now I know she didn't need to be.
She had nothing to prove. She had overcome insurmountable odds and alongside my dad showed 7 children how to be good and strong and kind. That was what was important to her. I understand the beauty in that now with 3 children of my own.
I have a memory that is dear to me. Not because it was an impressive feat, she had plenty of those, but because it was ours.
On senior prom night my mom was on call. When her pager went off she knew I was disappointed. She was too, she had to go. And I still don't know what she did to get back home but she did. And although she wasn't there to prevent me from wearing way too much makeup... she made sure my hair looked amazing! It meant so much to me that she rushed back. Because she didn't care about stuff like that but it meant something to me and that mattered to her.
Mom wasn't perfect but she loved us all so well. I am much more like my mom than I thought. Now when I look down at the soil under my nails, my cluttered counters or find an unsigned permission slip, I will smile. Because she gave me everything I need and taught me what matters most.
She showed me how to love.
Thank you for telling her story with us. May we tell it as often as we can. In the way we treat each other, in the way we step in during a time of need, in the way we mentor and inspire others to be great. She was great.
Love you, Mom.
Love always.......
Mam Cuddy
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Together, let us continue the legacy of compassion and kindness that Daryl embodied throughout her life.
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