Obituary
Dale Enders Drum Jr., 70, of Marlborough, CT, passed away on July 29, 2026, surrounded by the love of his family. Born in Amityville, NY, on January 30, 1956, he was the son of the late Dale Enders Drum Sr. and Marian (Whittle) Drum.
Dale is survived by his wife of 47 years, Patricia (Conway) Drum; his four children, Julia Pandolfi and her husband, Matthew Pandolfi, of Boston, MA; Krista Frallicciardi and her husband, Frank Frallicciardi, of New Canaan, CT; Daniel Drum of Marlborough, CT; and Victoria Drum of Marlborough, CT.
He is also survived by his sisters, Marian Drum of Bridgewater, CT, and Madeline "Sunny" Ferringo of Williamstown, NJ.
He was the proud grandfather of Brayden and Kennedy Pandolfi and Eva and Ryleigh Frallicciardi. He was also a devoted uncle who cherished time with his many nieces and nephews. He was predeceased by his sister, Martha (Drum) Cavanna, and his brother-in-law, Frank Cavanna, of Glastonbury, CT.
Dale was a dedicated family man with a unique sense of humor and quick wit that left people smiling long after they had spent time with him. Dale and Patricia created a home filled with love, joy, and unwavering support. His happiest moments were marked by family meals, early morning walks on the beach with his wife and dogs, and days spent with dirt on his hands, working in his garage or yard.
For more than 50 years, Dale proudly owned and operated businesses throughout Connecticut. After settling in Marlborough 30 years ago to raise his family, he founded Marlborough Lawn & Tree, where his son worked alongside him and continues to run the business. Over the years, Dale built lasting relationships with customers who came to know him beyond his work.
The family would like to extend their deepest gratitude to the physicians, nurses, and staff at Yale New Haven Smilow Cancer Hospital for their exceptional care, compassion, and for fighting alongside him until the end.
A Memorial Mass celebrating Dale's life will be held on Tuesday, August 11, at 10 a.m. at Saint Bridget Church in Manchester, CT, with a reception to follow. Burial will be private.
In lieu of flowers, the family kindly asks that you consider donating blood or platelets in Dale's honor. With ongoing blood shortages, this gift can help ensure that others receive the lifesaving care they need. Donations may also be made to the Fund for Smilow Cancer Hospital at Yale New Haven Health.
Gallery
Memory wall
Dale and I became friends around 2000, when I was coaching his daughters at RHAM. That was my first paid coaching job, and what started with basketball became something much bigger than basketball.
After every home game, Dale and I would go out to dinner. We would talk about the game, coaching, our families, life, and everything in between. Somewhere along the way, he stopped being just the father of players I coached and became my friend. A real friend. A life friend.
That is one of the reasons I have always said that the game is about life.
Basketball took a Black man from Alabama and a white man from New York, put us in the same gym, and gave us the opportunity to discover that friendship does not care where you were born, what you look like, or what road brought you there. When respect is real and the heart is right, people connect.
Dale always treated me with respect. Always. And I never forgot it.
There is something especially emotional for me right now because Lynn is currently in the same building that Dr. Browning helped get her moved into, the same building where Dale went through his treatments. As I walk those halls with Lynn, I cannot help but think about him. Life has a strange way of bringing memories full circle.
Dale, thank you for your friendship. Thank you for the dinners. Thank you for the conversations. Thank you for trusting me with your daughters. Thank you for the laughs, the basketball, the respect, and all the years that followed.
The Robys loved you, Dale.
I wish I could sit across the table from you one more time after a home game and talk about basketball and life.
Maybe the best way I can describe our friendship is this:
“Basketball introduced us, but life made us brothers.”
And that is what I will carry with me.
The scoreboard eventually goes dark. The gym eventually gets quiet. The season eventually ends. But the relationships created through the game can last a lifetime.
Dale was one of those relationships for me.
Rest peacefully, my friend. I thank God that basketball brought you into my life, and I will always be grateful that I got the privilege of calling you my friend.
Until we meet again, my brother.
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