Carol’s vibrant spirit and boundless love touched everybody she met—cherished deeply by her family, treasured by her friends, and revered as a leader in her industry.
We invite you to honor Carol’s enduring legacy by sharing your most cherished stories and photos here, so together we may celebrate the joy and love she gifted to all our lives.
Obituary
Carol P. Herring, a visionary leader in her industry who spearheaded challenging and ambitious fundraising campaigns for esteemed organizations including Rutgers University, Princeton University, Barnard College and the Asia Society, passed away peacefully in her sleep on June 9th at home after a battle with Parkinson’s Disease. In her final days, she was surrounded by the love of her extended family, who were always visiting.
Born in New York City on August 13, 1939, Carol grew up in Larchmont, New York. She graduated from Wellesley College in 1961 with a degree in English. While in college, she married her high school sweetheart, H. James (Jim) Herring. Their marriage flourished for 65 years.
Though family was the cornerstone of her life, Carol built a remarkable career in fundraising and development for major academic institutions and nonprofit foundations for over 40 years. Her final professional role was as President of the Rutgers Foundation and Vice President for Development and Alumni Relations, from which she retired at age 74. There, she led a team of over 180 and substantially expanded Rutgers fundraising, especially after the state withdrew 90% of its funding. Her hallmark achievement was leading the university's first $1 billion campaign through completion, serving under two presidents.
Carol’s first job was at Harvard Business School as a grader in a required writing course for first year MBA students. After moving to Princeton in 1962 for Jim’s Ph.D. studies, she began working as a writer at Educational Testing Service (ETS). In 1964, she began her family -Jamie, Matthew, and Katharine.
Seeking flexible work while raising young children, she took on freelance editorial roles for publications such as AAA Spotlight, Laundry and Cleaning World, and Dairy Industry News. As her children grew older, she returned to full-time work. In 1975, Carol was hired by Princeton University’s President Bill Bowen as his speechwriter, where she not only crafted speeches but also managed extensive correspondence with alumni, gaining deep insights into university operations and alumni relations.
Following President Bowen’s retirement, Carol transitioned into the university’s development office—regarded as one of the best in academia—eventually becoming Director of Leadership Gifts. Recognizing limited advancement opportunities in the male-dominated environment of the time, Carol pursued a leadership role at Barnard College. As Vice President for Development from 1990-2000, serving under two presidents and cultivating relationships with alumnae and led a capital campaign.
Seeking new challenges, she joined the Asia Society. There she restructured its development office during a period of heightened U.S.–Asia interest to provide 90 percent of the operating capital of the Society. Although she loved the worldwide travel and continued to be an important part of her life, the long commute took its toll. So when Rutgers University launched a search for a new chief development officer, Carol answered the call and remained there for 8 years until retirement.
Although she declared each of her last three positions to be her “last,” Carol’s drive and curiosity continued to pull her toward new opportunities. Even in retirement, she remained active in the nonprofit world, serving as Chairman of the Princeton Area Community Foundation and on the board of Princeton Day School.
Carol nurtured a rich and enduring network of relationships that spanned her personal, professional, and academic worlds. She was particularly devoted to mentoring young women in their careers. From childhood friends and Wellesley classmates to colleagues, nonprofit partners, and a beloved birthday group that celebrated together for over 40 years, she remained a source of warmth, humor, and support. She frequently found the time to be a gracious and welcoming hostess to her friends in Princeton and Wareham, MA, where her ability to read rooms and make people comfortable always added to the enjoyment of her guests. In quieter moments, she would lose herself in novels—often finishing one or two in a single weekend.
Still, nothing brought her more joy than family. She delighted in organizing lively gatherings, staying closely involved in her children’s and grandchildren’s lives, always asking questions and sharing her infectious laugh. The wonderful traditions of having her entire extended family join together for a week each summer in Wareham and on Christmas Day in Princeton were sources of tremendous joy and cherished memories to generations of her family.
Carol is survived by her beloved husband Jim; their children and their spouses or partners—Kathy, Amy, and Craig; and nine grandchildren: Keely, Lucy, Maggie, Griffin, Shepard, Harlan, Didier, Charles, and Keene. She is also survived by her brother and sister-in-law, Alan and Kathryn Parter, their children—Alison (Jonathan), Evan, Amy, and Rebecca (Ashley)—and her cousin and husband, Nancy and Larry Nathan.
Carol will be remembered as a vibrant, engaging presence who brought energy and insight to every conversation. Her memorial service will be held on Saturday, November 29th at 4:00 PM at the Nassau Club in Princeton, NJ. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital Parkinson’s Research Program to support continued advancements in treatment and care.
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I always gravitate towards people who value their families most. Kat always spoke about her family with such pride. From day one, I sensed she felt very close to her mom.
Over the years I was lucky enough to spend much quality time with them, and take in their special relationship. There are countless incredible memories, from moments in Baltimore, Princeton, Wareham, and NYC…
I recall going through bridesmaids details with Kat for her wedding…she ardently expressed how she wished her mom could be in the wedding party, because she really was her best friend! I was moved and agreed wholeheartedly!
Carol Herring was remarkable and unforgettable. She embodied this impossible combination of strength (you knew she meant business) and nurturing warmth (you knew how much she genuinely cared), which was revealed as she put up with our various college antics.
Both book smart and street smart, when she gave advice, you trusted it implicitly. I will always remember and be thankful that I was struck by her poise, energy, and immeasurable generosity.
My heart goes out to the entire Herring family, as I am able to grasp what a truly profound loss this is.
I love you, Kath, and I love your sweet mom. 🩷
Sending a big hug to your dad and brothers, too. XO
She loved her children and her marriage to Jim was one of equals and offdeep respect and love for each other .
She adored all 3 of you and I will never forget one late night the 2 of us drove all over the back roads of Marion to pick one of you up at a teenage party ! We shared so much about do many life issues .
Her career soared wherever she worked !
Even now I am sharing her obituary with Princeton , Barnard , and Asian Society friends !
I send caring thoughts to Jim , Jamie , Matthew , and Katherine and their loved ones as you go forward without Carol !
Keep her close to your hearts and in your minds forever , as I shall !
Bette K Peterson
My heart is with Jim and with you all as you experience this time of transition.
Thank you, Carol, for all of the small moments with you and your family. I am forever grateful.
I just found a quiet moment to read this magnificent tribute. I am so deeply moved.
Your mother seems to have created the most beautiful life possible—full of meaning, joy, and connection. I was especially touched by the 40 years of celebrating birthdays with her friends!
It sounds like she truly had it all, and carried it with grace.
I wish I had the chance to know her.
How lucky you were to have each other...
I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like an absolutely remarkable woman.
Grandma was the quintessential grandmother — warm, attentive, endlessly generous with her love. Every evening at their house started the same way: she’d pour me a glass of Newman’s Own lemonade, and serve a little plate of grapes and Parmesan cheese. It was simple and bizarre but felt like such a treat, like something made just for me. We’d hangout in their living room together, and she’d ask about everything — my classes, hobbies, friends, even the tiniest things that had happened during my day. She wasn’t just making conversation — she was genuinely curious. The way she listened made me feel like my world was important, like I was interesting. That kind of focused love gave me confidence, and made me feel at ease speaking with adults even from a young age.
After our chats, she and Granddad would cook a cozy, delicious meal — always something that filled the house with those homestyle smells that made you feel instantly safe. Then came the Disney movie (a ritual), and best of all: the Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars. Their freezer was never without them. Grandma loved her ice cream as much as we did — maybe more.
Climbing into one of their guest beds at the end of the night was like a bear settling into hibernation. There was a special kind of quiet and comfort in that house. The blankets were always heavy, the air always calm, and sleep came quickly and deeply. It was the kind of sleep where you close your eyes and the next thing you know, the sun is rising. I never once felt out of place there — only loved, seen, and completely at peace. These sleepovers weren’t extravagant or extraordinary (except when Granddad would cook us filet mignon) but they perfect. What seemed like rituals at the time have become life-long memories which I will forever grateful for.
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