Brad Dalton Driver

Brad Driver, BFD, my gemini B buddy. You will be forever missed. I am so grateful to have been your friend. I love you ❤️

I met Mariah on the first week of our study abroad semester in Cape Town, South Africa. We became fast best friends -- really growing up together through our time there and we are bonded for life because of it. I had the privilege of having that same experience with Brad. We clicked immediately.

I'd never had such a close bond with a friends' father before, and at first I didn't know what to make of it. Was this guy genuine??!! For real?! YES HE IS!!! I quickly learned that this is just the magic of Brad Driver -- he sees people so clearly and purely. I started receiving his famous phone calls and gained entry to the "Happy Friday Camper" group family texts (mind you I had NEVER met Cole or Anna before, but it didn't matter to him -- I was family because he decided I was).

I cherished our calls and the unique role he played in my life - offering me advice as both a father-esque figure & friend, but really as a cheerleader and someone in my corner. Our minds worked the same -- we love deeply and truly and appreciated that in one another.

He NEVER missed a birthday, a life milestone, or a chance to share with me (and anyone in his life) how damn proud he was. Thank you Brad for inspiring me, for trusting me, for showing up again and again and again and again, for checking in on me when my antidepressants stopped working and when I was lost and scared, for picking me up at SFO in rush hour, for taking me to my first silent meditation retreat, for your support when I got into grad school and decided to move, for our thai food dinner dates in Oakland, for being good in the truest sense of the word. Thank you for reminding me of how loved & worthy I was even when I didn't believe it myself.

Brad -- at times I didn't know how to receive all of your love and I'm sorry for the times I couldn't answer or text you back. You touched me deeply and please know I receive it all a million times over now. Everything you are and were to me is cherished beyond measure.

I will carry your joy, your courage, your "yes man, grab life by the god damn balls man" attitude, your warmth, your seeing the best in all people, your fierce commitment to those you love, your deeply alive spirit -- with me for the rest of my days. I love you.

Love,
"BRIIIIIIIIITTT"

I'm so proud of you too.

Rest in heavenly peace

Brad was my student at College Prep when I was a rookie teacher learning the ropes. He taught me that connecting with students is more important than the facts one is teaching. Knowing and caring wins the day. As a young man he had a magic personality and a drive to succeed like no one else. Hundreds of students over the years have benefitted from what I learned from Brad.
Imagine my joy when we reconnected in San Carlos many years later and I had the chance to tell him the impact he made on me. He will always have a part of my heart and I am so grateful to have known him.

I am struggling to accept the new reality of life without Brad. Our regular conversations were a source of comfort and inspiration. I loved sharing my life stories and I loved listening to his – his troubles, his joys, his regrets, his hopes, his optimism – and always his infinite love for his children. Did anyone have a more insistently positive outlook on life, a better moral compass? Brad was a gift and a safe haven, a truly extraordinary person. I miss my friend.

I have a few very specific memories of Brad after UCSD. One was when I moved back to Oakland after being in the Peace Corps in Sri Lanka. I was crossing Grand Ave at the NW corner of Lake Merritt and someone in a beige Mercedes was honking non stop at me. It was Brad. He gave me a ride home which was at the base of a hill where his mom lived and invited me to a birthday party at her home.

Brad and I would jog around Lake Merritt but not at the same time. He was too fast.

I remember Brad telling me a story about the time he traveled to Jordan and went to Aqaba and Petra. A bank guard figured out he had been to Israel (a no no for visitors to Arab countries at the time) and the guard took him to the border with Israel at Eilat and made him leave the country. I happened to do some consulting in Aqaba years later and visited Petra. I always thought I would share that story with Brad someday.

My sincere condolences to his family.

I have known Brad for over 35 years and he was a light in my life. Brad inspired me and made me smile and laugh. I will miss him forever, but am grateful to have known such a fine man.

When my husband, Brad’s close childhood friend, was on life support, ill with leukemia, in Boston, Brad was there. A rock in a sea of emotions and turmoil. A courageous unwavering spirit who was unafraid to speak out on behalf of his friend. The biggest fan of my 3 children and our family in the hard hard days. He loved my kids like his own.
I got the unexpected chance to see Brad in CA in late May. He came over to my Airbnb. He insisted that he come by himself and drive himself to my place in SF!!! I mean, how miraculous!! After what he’d gone through and was going through. We talked until we realized we needed to turn the light on because it had gotten dark without our noticing it. We talked about the deep things, the funny things, the things you didn’t even know you felt. What a gift to have those precious hours with him. What a gift to have had his friendship. What a gift to know his beautiful children who so embody his ability to love and to communicate. We love you Brad and we miss you from the bottom of our hearts,

I miss Brad. I have known Brad for the past 5 years and we battled together on the courts several times. His energy and attitude was palpable and he was the nicest person off the courts. May his soul rest in peace. Om Shanti.

I knew Brad for over 40 years. I hired him when he was a young man to work in the BTC canteen. He was very responsible and had a smile for everyone, or a joke!!!

We kept in touch over the years, especially on birthdays. So sweet.

Brad was a thoughtful, kind, loving soul. I will miss him but feel so fortunate to have had him in my life for so many years.

Rest in peace, dear boy.

My heart is broken but I feel lucky to have had so many memorable moments with the indomitable BFD. I met him in the weight room at UCLA where he welcomed me with that winner smile and contagious, motivating spirit. Then he told me I had a little work to do on my sit up form. We shared the thrill of running around Stanford for Challenge for Charity playing different sports. He taught me how to waterski. He challenged me to a 10+ mile run to the beach (which I pretended was a breeze) but then fell down laughing the next day when I showed up at school limping with a sore left butt cheek. We went on ski trips. We went on hikes and had dinners throughout the years, connecting and sharing life's ups and downs, always grateful for each other's friendship.

Brad's take on life was everything - so it was always refreshing to talk to him. He had the work-life balance all figured out. No one prioritized his family and friends like Brad. No one was more important and precious to him than you, Mariah and Cole. Because he was so good about sharing his feelings, I know you know it all. It always warmed my heart to hear him talk about you two. My gosh, the joy! He was just so in love with the people and souls that you have become. The joy you brought him was contagious and I loved it. I will miss his phone calls from his car because he lit up my days and let's face it - no one just calls anymore! I will never forget him and I know his sprit will be with us always. I will try to do my best, get my exercise, play more tennis, plan those adventurous vacations, and live in the joy. Our entire family is thinking of your family and sending so much love and so many warm hugs. Please extend all of our love to the rest of the family. xo Mary

All gas, no brakes. At first, I couldn’t identify it, but with Mariah’s words I could finally put my finger on it.
Brad and I shared a similar health journey-- the odds of survival slim, the impact on ourselves and our loved ones great. We were even in the same hospital, although at different times. We only met Memorial weekend at the Pacific Coast Seniors tournament when my husband, Chris Morgan, introduced us. But, we became thought partners about our respective recoveries almost instantly. The similarities in our experience and interpretation of the events were striking, what wasn’t as obvious were the differences. I found myself quizzing my husband if the difference I was trying to distinguish was somehow related to Brad’s essential nature-thoughtful, curious, and determined. He agreed. However, reading about Brad I think the more apt description is really ‘all gas, no brakes’. Even when discussing grief, hope, life and death, Brad was all in.
His star was bright and his particular light will shine for a long long time.

I met Brad (and Wendy and their parents) at the Berkeley Tennis Club maybe in the early 70s. He was one of those kids who took tennis seriously and would obviously be better than casual players like me. If the Drivers weren’t the first black family, they were the second or third.

Brad was so friendly, so outgoing, such an irrepressible force of positive energy - you couldn’t help but like him.

I also knew him from basketball when I was coaching at College Prep. I coached the girls but helped with the boys. They had a good team his senior year - great bunch of kids, Brad, Brad Brooks, Michael Bruce, Peter Massey, Jim Davis et al. Brad’s spirit really shined through it all.

We crossed paths a few times in subsequent decades. I’m so sorry he’s gone.

My dad, Adolph (now 93), wanted to pass on condolences as well.

Brad was truly one of a kind. A remarkable human being I had the privilege of calling a friend. I met Brad when he began working at Sandler and was immediately impressed with his work ethic and how much he cared for his coworkers. He was there to assist our team in any escalations and he genuinely wanted to know how he could make our jobs easier and how he could improve our day to day workload. He became someone I trusted and admired at work. In the office we went from greeting each other with “good morning” to having small chats about work to having lovely conversations about his family and how our weekends went. He quickly went from being a coworker to a friend.
During covid we would speak regularly. He would check in to see how I was doing. We would catch up and he let me know how he was doing, how his kids were, and he would lend his ear for me to vent my frustrations and would give me advice. I would bounce ideas off of him, we would joke around, and he believed in me and made me believe in myself. I got the chance to meet Mariah at one of the baseball games and I saw a lot of Brad in her. I know he will still live on through his children.
Once I left to work for another company Brad being the awesome person he was still kept in contact with me. He would call and check in with me every few months and we would speak as if no time had passed. Gosh, I'm going to miss those calls. I know you’ll still be checking up on us from up above. I’m going to miss you Brad. You will never be forgotten my friend. You’ll be so dearly missed.

I've known Brad for 10 years or so - we met on the tennis court, of course (Brad won). Team tennis, so you meet all types of people... Brad stood out with his tennis, on and off the court demeanor -- just pure Class all around. We reconnected in the last two years and we've been playing regularly, including after his health problems last fall. It made me incredibly happy to see him improve every time we played. Every time, I looked forward to our next session, to his ball coming heavier, to the rallies being longer, all the markers of a slow but steady comeback,. But most of all, I cherished the moments at changeovers and breaks when we would just talk about anything other than tennis, when I got to know him - a Great Man. I brought my partner and my daughter to these session, just so they could meet Brad and see firsthand why I wouldn't stop talking about how special he is. They agreed, naturally.
Last week, on Thursday, I made a reservation for our Monday session. I almost canceled, but Weston agreed to step in for Brad, and we hit for an hour, ending the session with a tweener. Weston said: we made Brad smile. I think we did.

Brad and I talked weekly; he was a devoted friend. We saw each other whenever we could, even if it was a brief hello and a hug under some freeway overpass. He would go to great lengths to make this happen, even when we were busy with our young families, we stayed in close touch.
In 2019 or so, Brad invited me to his friend Dave's home in Rocklin, with my road bike. We set out on a ride from an Auburn bike shop, down Highway 49 racing commuter traffic into the American River canyon. That went fine. It was when we were climbing out of the canyon that we questioned our route: there was zero shoulder, it was steep, winding and so narrow that the cars couldn't pass us safely. With a steep embankment on our inside, we were sandwiched between pissed off people in their cars and the canyon wall. Three miles up, the road opened up and we found ourselves in the mountaintop town of "Cool." Little did I know that three years later I would move to Cool with my partner, Nick. Now every time I drive the canyon I shake my head and laugh in dismay that we rode up the highway...at commute hour.
We ended up turning around in Cool and going back down to the river to find the correct route. And because we hadn't yet had enough of an adventure, Brad watched a deer run down a hill to collide with a motorcyclist, sending the latter crashing to the ground and killing the deer. Brad stayed with the motorcyclist until first responders arrived.
These things set us back so late that we didn't return to Auburn until dark. We were ill prepared with no lights. We were also whipped and had no idea where we were, so Brad asked a guy at a gas station if he could give us a lift. Brad and I loved retelling this story to one another. It's one I won't forget. And you can imagine our optimist friend Brad just loving the whole ride. Very little got BFD down. Damn I miss you, Bradly. Rest In Peace my great friend.

Brad was truly a remarkable man. He helped us in so many ways. We don't think he even realized how much he inspired all of us. He was not just a co-worker. He was our friend and our family. He did things for all of us and never expected or asked for anything in return. Truly just a selfless person that lit up an entire room when he walked in it. We know you are with God now and your memory will live on with all of us forever. Rest in peace.

I didn't know Brad that well, but this a powerful reminder that every day is a gift. To his family, I am so sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine the grief and big feelings. Sending love from Nor Cal.

What a lovely man.
I enjoyed every opportunity I had to interact with Brad. I especially enjoyed his recount of his bycicle tour of my native New Zealand after he graduated college.
RIP buddy

I keep starting messages about my friend Brad, there are so many wonderful things to say about him. But I get stuck on the word was.
I miss him and wish he was still here.